Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Aurora Gory Alice, Jun 27, 2010.
God what is wrong with me.
What sort of sick person dreams of getting cancer
You ain't the only one.
There've been recent incidents where I pray that a terminal illness would befall me. Yet, the thought of ALS, AIDS, or some other fucked up disease is frightening.
What we really wish is a quick death. Sadly, ALS, cancer, or AIDS won't provide that and would likely change our view on life and make us appreciate the life we are currently living, no matter how fucking shitty it is.
That's why I've been wishing that I could live in an impoverished country and starve. It sure beats my current situation.
I've been reading up on ways to get it, which is sick I know. AIDS just doesn't seem fool proof enough (call me crazy) and starving can be easily solved by getting out of there I guess, especially when you've been the other side.
hey ive done the same thing...so you're not alone
AIDS or cancer would be a bad way to commit suicide. It makes the "suicide by cop" method look like a comforting thought in comparison.
Your death would seem like YEARS if you contract AIDS or cancer. That goes against the wish for a quick death that most suicidal people harbor.
I kind of just want to know that it is coming and sooner rather than later, with cancer I'd at least know I don't have to wait for old age, that without drugs I'd deteriorate within some months
:hug: I dream of getting cancer all the time. Depending on the kind I would get rid of it or let it kill me. I wonder if anyone knows the kind I would get rid of.
so you are forgotten man so im guessing anytihng dealing with the family jewels would be gotton rid of
My maternal grandfather lived on hot dogs, donuts and unfiltered Camel cigarettes and my paternal grandfather bacon, processed deli meats, vodka and unfiltered Pall Mall cigarettes. They both died at an advanced age of congestive heart failure :huh:.
I know how you feel Linds. I eat a mostly healthy diet and run and or bicycle daily because of my personality and because the exercise lessens my depression/anxiety. Most times running or peddling on the side of the road I am hoping an inattentive driver hits me so squarely and hard that I don't feel a thing.
I literally thought I was the only one. I think about similar things, and then I feel so guilty. I'm just so desperate to die naturally so that my friends don't hate me for killing myself. I dream of cancer, diseases, getting hit by cars... Just anything that I'll end it. I feel sick saying it, and I've never admitted it before right now haha. It's not that I want cancer, it's just that I want to die without killing myself and leaving everyone else with that thought. So you're definitely not alone in that thought.
I dont mean this horribly..
But i have nursed my Nan through lung cancer..which quickly spread throught her body..and it wasnt nice at all
She was given 4 months to live.. but only lived for 4 weeks after the diagnosis..
She was in extreme pain 24/7 .. and when it was close to the end - im talking hours away .. they say they will pump you full of drugs to make it painless.. but there is no way they can know that for sure.. because my nan was in pain..
Its the most awful.. painful.. horrific thing ever..
You dont want cancer :sad:
I don't really think that they actually want cancer if they really knew how severe cancer is and how awful the chemotherapy makes your body feel. Most people do whatever they can to prevent terminal illnesses like cancer and AIDS. But when you're suffering and looking for a way out, even a terminal illness seems tempting. However, this will only increase the amount of pain and suffering that one has to endure. Focus on improving your lives you guys. :hug:
i want cancer because i want to feel the pain-i deserve to feel pain and be punished for the way ive lived. i need to feel the pain to know im being punished, so cancer with how much pain it gives is why i want it
I've been smoking for 43 years.. I'm at the point I want to die of cancer..They can load me up with morphine and all will be good.. I don't want chemo or radiation.. Just let me go..
hey hun how you feeling, you know my pm is always open if you need to vent, sorry I have been distant drop me a message if you like and we can have a chat.
Thanks Rich and thanks everybody else.
I'm not as bad as I was yesterday or the day before.
Pleased to hear :hug: if you need me free feel to pm I am normally lurking about okay =)
I am a cancer survivor. It is nothing to wish on yourself or anyone else...
I dream of dying in a car accident something quick
I have just lost my beloved mother to cancer and watched my soul mate go from 12 and half stone to under four stone.............she suffered terribly...............YOU DONT WANT CANCER.
Its wicked to say you do............though understand why you want to suffer but there are nough with cancer now 1 in 3 get it.
I am suicidal as just lost my mother, please dont say you wish it upon yourself or any disease as i am very sick too and can do nothing about my illnesses and wish I could.