Last night about ODing, proper full on dream, felt the OD as I did it, experienced hospital, and then it all went black. that's what I what, NowI'm fucking triggered to actually do that 'in reeal life'. Any little thing today could trigger the dissociation that does it. I need to NOT do it, especially today. Dad just started his new job, and mum has ofsted in. It's so fucked. I'm going to try and keep myself busy and distract myself and promise myself I'll do it at a later date. But GOD I'd forgotten how much better I felt after ODing, I wish I could have that today.