Yesterday my supervisor sent me a snarky, passive, aggressive, email about not getting my unit plans done ( I work at the Worst International School in the World, in the Worst Country in the World, for context). During the day I sent him a slightly sarcastic email back (telling him I’d pull an all-nighter to get it done) and was beating myself up about that… but he didn’t reply…now I discover that last night I drunk-emailed him this: Just off to bed now – clear cannot do unit plans by tomorrow. Not the worst drunk-email in history ever, but not the best - it does look as though I’d been hammered though? What should I do? It definitely went through, unlike I think my drunk email to my psychologist (of course). My psyche is threatening to never go in to work again. My submissive side is just heartbroken that I really wasn’t able to pull an all-nighter like I said. My adolescent side just doesn't want this guy to know he has abused me to the point where I have to drink. My suicidal side keeps telling me it would be better to end it all... I have stuffed up so many times this year. I can't even stay out of work today because I've used all of my sick days for the entire YEAR since August. The worst thing is, I can't look for another job, because they would want a reference from this guy and the other supervisor this year, a woman, who also hates me. If I lose my job, I lose everything - I literally have no friends, and my family stopped talking to me ages ago. I have very little money in reserve because of getting Psych help (I Skype my psychologist back in my own country, but that hardly helps because it's only 2 days a week). I need to get out, but can't see any way but death.