I drunk-emailed my boss...now I should end it!!!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Hazel Morse, Oct 13, 2015.

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  1. Hazel Morse

    Hazel Morse Well-Known Member

    Yesterday my supervisor sent me a snarky, passive, aggressive, email about not getting my unit plans done ( I work at the Worst International School in the World, in the Worst Country in the World, for context). During the day I sent him a slightly sarcastic email back (telling him I’d pull an all-nighter to get it done) and was beating myself up about that… but he didn’t reply…now I discover that last night I drunk-emailed him this:

    Just off to bed now – clear cannot do unit plans by tomorrow.

    Not the worst drunk-email in history ever, but not the best - it does look as though I’d been hammered though?

    What should I do? It definitely went through, unlike I think my drunk email to my psychologist (of course). My psyche is threatening to never go in to work again. My submissive side is just heartbroken that I really wasn’t able to pull an all-nighter like I said. My adolescent side just doesn't want this guy to know he has abused me to the point where I have to drink.

    My suicidal side keeps telling me it would be better to end it all... I have stuffed up so many times this year. I can't even stay out of work today because I've used all of my sick days for the entire YEAR since August.

    The worst thing is, I can't look for another job, because they would want a reference from this guy and the other supervisor this year, a woman, who also hates me. If I lose my job, I lose everything - I literally have no friends, and my family stopped talking to me ages ago. I have very little money in reserve because of getting Psych help (I Skype my psychologist back in my own country, but that hardly helps because it's only 2 days a week).

    I need to get out, but can't see any way but death.
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I would get the unit plans to him as soon as you possibly can. When you deliver them, tell him, "I re-organized my schedule so you would have them today."

    If it was me, I would avoid engaging in convo about the emails if possible. If he insists the plans are "late," have good reasons - "I was completing XYZ tasks, which you indicated last week were a priority." Or perhaps other people hadn't given you essential information so you could do them - if so, let him know.

    It might not be as bad as you think. Please, you are worth more than any job. Other work can be found. Please don't let this blip decide your life and death. ((hug))
  3. Hazel Morse

    Hazel Morse Well-Known Member

    I don't know... I'll try to get them done in the next hour or so...your advice is very good and I appreciate it.

    It's just that this guy has it out for me, he has lied before about my professional behavior and motivations to our superiors, so I'm paralyzed with these tasks he gives me because the cards are stacked against me from the get go - they're the sort of thing that he can move the goal posts, show favoritism (Hazel's unit plans must be 30 pages long and smell like roses, everyone else need only do 3 pages, that sort of thing).

    And I've already been given extra time to complete them!!!

    Another difficulty - have been given another impossible-ish task by my other superior that hates me. I can't possibly meet both deadlines and both tasks are similar in nature.

    It feels like two sharks circling...
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hazel, sounds fierce in there! I'm sorry it's like that!

    It is unpleasant to work if we feel we can not be "good enough" no matter how hard we work. No one needs that kind of toxic atmosphere and it actually makes it harder to do a good job. Nonetheless, any of us in that kind of situation, has to be doing the most we can to get things done and done as well as we can. We it owe it to ourselves to do that. In your place, I'd want to get those two tasks out of the way. And as soon as I had, I'd be revising my résumé and sending it out to other employers with inquiries or to specific job postings. It never hurts to look for other work, and until we look, it's hard to know what good opportunities we might find.

    If you have two supervisors and they give you conflicting deadlines, there is nothing wrong with suggesting the three of you meet to prioritize tasks. You're in the middle and being expected to serve two masters. The two masters need to settle this between them and then assign the work to you/others. It's not fair to put in on you and then blame you if it's impossible.

    Edit: The other thing, if a boss is showing favoritism, make a note of it...keep a job diary and describe the "discrepancies, incidents, events and how they're unfair to you and favorable for someone else." (Keep this diary VERY private - go out at lunch and write, and then keep the log in your pack/bag. Do not do it on company time. Do not let others see it.

    If you keep a log of every single thing, it can help you keep track of what he's doing and it's harder for him to argue if you have a log of notes, dates, times, people involved, and examples.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 13, 2015
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