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I Dunno What To Do

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by xZombiexAngelx, Feb 6, 2011.

  1. xZombiexAngelx

    xZombiexAngelx Well-Known Member

    I posted a thread before about being absolutely in love with my best friend, I ruined it a long time ago though, and I don't think theres any chance of us ever being together again.

    Anyway, here's my problem... I told him how I feel the other night. And tonight, I got really depressed because he was showing me all this horoscope stuff and the Chinese Zodiac. And we aren't compatible according to the zodiac. Then he asked "Oh, what sign is June 17th" So I told him... Realized he was trying to figure out if him and his ex are compatible... It hurts. A lot.

    I'm scared he's going to go back to her, and all my hard work of cheering him up will have been wasted... For two nights in a row, I was up until 7 in the morning making little pictures and sending him songs...

    I'm afraid that I won't want to be friends with him if that happens. He's been my best friend since I was 13... I missed him so much while we weren't talking. Honestly, I just wanna be able to see him smile and be happy... even if it hurts me. But I already have problems with suicide and depression. I don't want to hurt anymore then I already do.

    And then after the whole ex girlfriend zodiac thing we were talking and he said "I had really strong feelings for you xP" and I said "Yeah... Had..." I started crying then. I screwed up so bad in the past, I lost the only guy I've ever really loved. He'll never be mine again.

    I feel so empty without him around, you know, incomplete. But now... I feel just as empty when he talks about his ex... Should I have not apologized to him? Should I have just... left him to his life and never spoken to him again...?

    For the month we didn't talk, I thought about him every day, I cried myself to sleep every single night. I wanna tell him all this, I would love to show him this thread but... he might think I'm crazy or something.

    Gosh, I just... I love him so much... I need help. I need advice. I don't wanna lose him again...
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It is lovely that you spent time helping him, but I think you should feel good about being a good friend and see what happens...hope he feels for you as you do for him...I know how tough this can be...J
  3. xZombiexAngelx

    xZombiexAngelx Well-Known Member

    I really did end up just wasting my time. He broke my heart. He's with some girl now, and he rubs it in all the time. Status's on facebook, texts that he "accidentally" sent to me but are meant for her. I can't deal with it. I deleted him from facebook, msn, xbox live, and my cell contacts.