I f**cked up again

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by No_Angel, Oct 17, 2009.

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  1. No_Angel

    No_Angel Member

    I don't know why I have the tendency to screw things when they are about to get better - it's like I'm sabotaging myself...anyway I'm going through this nightmare again.

    First - I have been misusing laxatives for more than six months now .I was just about to stop when I listened to this fitness instructor who told me to eat only eggs , meat and cottage cheese and the moment he said it I knew I was about to have a big relapse.So I started overeating (very much) and gained weight.
    It's just a kilo for now but I started working out less and I destroyed my body...

    Let me explain the way I think - "I feel like having some chinese chicken..wait..it is bad for my figure...ok then I'm destroyng my body anyway so I'll have also a pizza , chocolate and so on.." Imagine how I feel the next day - it's not guilt or shame ,I'm not ashamed that I'm crazy ,but I'm terrified that I'll have to lose months in the gym to recover my figure...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    it is an awful battle and i hope you have some therapy or on medication to help you cope. My daughter struggles every day the same way and i have signed her up for swimming something she enjoys and helps her i hope you can get the support you need.
  3. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    your fitness instructor is crazy for advising that diet, thats all I know.
  4. HaveNot

    HaveNot Active Member

    i agree! you should have a healtier diet imo.
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