this is my first post & the first time i've ever sought help online. i really hope this works, perhaps - if anything - at least allow me to vent my feelings. my name is bran, i'm 21. and my wife, who i won't name, is also 21. we're young, but we've been through a lot together. she's 12-wk's pregnant. this is our first child, but her second pregnancy. three years ago she got pregnant, by an ex-lover, and at that time opted to terminate her pregnancy. from what i know, because she barely speaks about it, she suffered badly from depression soon after the lose of her baby. she says she's overcome that tragedy in her life, but i have my doubts now & then. here is my problem. i don't want to make this too long because it might bore people to read. she's miserable. she's in a low that i can't seem to help her through. she constantly tells me she doesn't love our baby, that there is something wrong with it. i quote her, "we can't have this baby. let's get rid of it & have a different one. i'm too depressed. i've hurt this baby already & something isn't right with it." i have heard those words numerous times. why would she say something so awful? why would she think something is wrong with it? she doesn't smoke & she hasn't had a single sip of alcohol since getting a positive pregnancy test. she suffers through all her coughs & pains instead of taking medicine, even if the doctor says it is safe. she's taking her prenatal vitamins. all her bloodwork came back perfect. yet, she swears our baby isn't healthy. i can't tell her otherwise. she has, however, said this to me. "the baby isn't healthy because i'm not healthy." when i asked her to explain, she said it has to do with how depressed she is. she said she's not taking the best care of herself & therefore she's not taking the best care of the child inside her. she said her depression is causing her body to release negative things upon our baby. what negative things is she talking about? i've looked it up online & in books. i understand that depression is dangerous during pregnancy because it might prevent a woman from taking care of her body - which is happening with my wife quite often - but as for releasing "negative things," i am clueless as to what my wife is speaking about. hormones, maybe? and, what happens if she doesn't eat? like she failed to do today. she hasn't eaten a single thing. nothing! i tried to get her to put something in her body by going out & buying her one of her favorite foods, but she curled even further into her blankets & hid. i attempted to talk to her, but she only yelled at me. she said she doesn't care if the baby starves. she doesn't care if she makes herself miscarry. she said, "i don't care about the baby, i hope it goes away." it hurt, a lot. it made me angry, but i couldn't bring myself to yell at her. she said to me over & over again that if she doesn't eat, she'll miscarry. is that true? if anything i think she'll only prevent proper growth of our child & thus the baby really will have something wrong with it. how can she be so cruel? it's been almost 24-hr's since she last ate something. what do i do? please, if you read this, even if you don't know what to say, offer whatever advice comes to your mind. i'm open to anything an outsider has to say. i'm at a lose. i'm so afraid she's going to do something to herself, but i'm even more afraid she'll do something to our baby. i love what we've created beyond the explaination of words. and i love my wife.