I fear I am lost...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lost4Now, Feb 6, 2011.

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  1. Lost4Now

    Lost4Now New Member

    I am a 40 year old man. I have struggled all my life but managed to fool most everyone. Very few know my struggle. I was successful in academics and was the star athlete. I now have a great wife and carreer. I have always silently considered ending my life. I can no longer sustain this facade.

    Why? I have recently had some concerning health issues. It appears I had a brainstem stroke in early December. The results of the stroke arent obvious to others but I am in hell. I cant feel my legs or arms. The parts I can feel like they are burning. I have double vision in one eye. I am dizzy most of the time.

    My wife doesnt understand. I dont want to burden her or my family. I cant be the person I was pretending to be less than 2 months ago. I know everyone would be shocked if I took my own seemingly wonderful life.

    In my way I loved life but I cant do it anymore. I am alone in my own thoughts and scared.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Lost and welcome...having had a stroke changes so many things, the way we feel, the way we are in the world...so much...here you can be who you are and know there are so many ppl with conditions that have them feeling this way (myself included...i am in a wheelchair since July and I used to be a dancer, private pilot, etc...adjusting to this has been one of my greatest challanges)...please PM me if I can be there for you...welcome again, J
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