I fear I will always be alone

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by TheLoneWolf, Aug 15, 2012.

  1. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    The only thing I ever wanted was love.

    In life, it seems, the more we want something, the less likely we are to ever have it. Or maybe that's just how it works in my experience. It seems the harder I try to fight for what I want, the more out of reach it becomes. "Good" things only come to me once I've given up and no longer care about them. Of course, if I start to care again, that's when they abandon me, making me feel even worse than I did in the first place.

    Story of my life.

    I was born alone, and I will die alone.
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Well you have my friendship, I know it's not the same as being loved, but I always have your back :hug:
  3. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I know. Friendship is good. I'm not trying to take anything away from that, your friendship means a lot to me - it's one of the few reasons I have right now to not commit suicide. I just always wanted that perfect relationship, you know? The kind you see in movies. Hell, not just movies... the kind you even see in real life. The happy couple, the happy wedding day, long walks on the beach, all that jazz. I see happy couples everywhere. Granted, it doesn't always last, but at least they have that now... most people my age have been in what, 15 or 20 halfway serious relationships where they got to enjoy passion and romance together? I've been in 1 unhappy relationship. FML. I've realized that it doesn't matter what I do. Even if I could meet women who somehow thought I was attractive enough to consider dating, my social anxiety and awkwardness would turn them off. Even if my awkwardness didn't turn them off, realizing what a lonely, miserable freak of nature I am almost certainly would. It doesn't matter if some people think I'm smart or funny. That's not nearly enough to compensate for everything that's wrong with me.
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Yeah me too, and I don't know if it will happen for me...but we can't say conclusively that true love will never happen for us. I've been stuck in small towns all my life, and you've been stuck in a dead-end marriage, so we haven't really seen what's out there. Maybe you are socially awkward now, but you can gain confidence...I can try and help you with anything you might need help with.
  5. LittleDorrit

    LittleDorrit New Member

    Hi all, I suffered this kind of emotion for a few years. Last year I summoned up the courage (and perhaps humility for those you look down on it) to join a free onling dating service. I wrote a nice, positive profile about things that I like and enjoy but I also put down a single line that I'm a bit awkward in social situations (I downplayed it so as to not scare everyone away. I can't even queue in public, it makes me nervous. I'm insane, the key is to let the crazy out little by little if you're worried about driving people away).

    The nice thing was, if you found someone you communicated well with through the website email, you could move onto instant messaging, maybe even webcam to steady the nerves before a real face-to-face date. During that time, it's nice to focus on interests and fun things instead of letting them know about things that depress you.

    I don't know if you've tried it or not, but it's worth trying and I found it much better than hoping someone nice would strike up conversation with me on the train. Take the initiative! I dare ye!

    All the best!

    (Also, any relationship requires a certain amount of work, be prepared to put that effort in!)
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 15, 2012