I feel as if I'm at a loss.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by innocencexisxlove, Mar 10, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    Ever since I took him to court, so many people have hated me for it... I've just had enough of this crap.. i've honestly just had enough..

    Yesterday I finally got my liscense, so I can drive by myself now. So a friend and I went to the movies. She got picked up, and I was walking to the car. A group of his friends saw me and would not leave me alone.

    This type of thing has been constant. Always being harrassed and bullied cause of "what I did to him".. Like honestly, it's about what HE did to ME... And it took a lot of courage to actually take all this to court. I swear.. Idk.

    Right now I feel at a loss.. I just can't take this anymore. Not to mention all the crap at home, with my mom making me loose weight, and me having to keep up my schoolwork... I'm just. Sick of it.... Idk. :sad:

    -Rachel
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You do what you need to do to heal the hell with the rest of them. He needs to pay for what he did and if you have the strength to do this go for it . I know it can get very tiring but in the end you will have got someone dangerous off the streets good foryou
     
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    You know what, you're right, its what he did to you. Actions have consequences and whatever it was he did to you, he got the consequences he deserved. That was down to him. You did a hugely brave thing by going to court and going through all that.

    Do you have any support to help you deal with this? Like vicimt support? Or maybe support groups for people who have survived what you have survived?
     
  4. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    i don't want any of that.. i'm sure, if i tried, i could find something. but I don't want that.
     
  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    That's fair enough. Can I ask why not? I ask only to try and understand more, that's all.

    Is there anything that you can think might help you?
     
  6. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    I'm just not comfortable with it. I just want to forget it and have it done and overwith.

    I don't think there is anything other than what I'm thinking, that will help.
     
  7. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I guess it would be far easier to move on if people stopped blaming you for it, when you have done all the right things.

    What is it you are thinking?
     
  8. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    Not happy things....
     
  9. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Do you want to talk about them?
     
  10. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    just.. harming myself and suicide.
     
  11. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    If you do either of those things, then all these people and the bloke himself, win. They don't deserve that. YOU deserve to win and you are SO close to winning because you have got justice for him.

    Could you try being kind and gentle with yourself?
     
  12. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    I do try. All the time! But.. it's just not working anymore.
     
  13. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    It definitely is not easy, and from everything you have said in this thread, you have done incredibly well! Do you have any coping strategies for when the feelings get overwhelming? I hear that you want to forget and move on, but you may find that's not possible, so try to bear in mind that there are other options like what I mentioned about support groups and stuff like that, and they may be able to provide you with different help. Just keep them in your mind for if you change your mind and do decide you need some help.
     
  14. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    Thank you.. My only coping strategy is self-harming..
     
  15. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    hun dont second guess yourself, you did the right thing. those bullies wont be around forever, dont let them ruin your life. your mum on the other hand can you talk to her tell her that loosing wieght atm is just not good for you? surely she can understand the stress your under.
    and school work, i know you probably dont want to do it but you need school for your future stick with it hun xxx
     
  16. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    My mom doesn't give to shitocki mushrooms about what's going on. I've tried talking. She's impossible...
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.