My mother died two days ago. She was very ill. We are going to have the funeral the 12th of january and I turn 18 the 13th of january. We knew it was coming. Now I see no reason to live. I just feel bad because I feel like a looser. My mother didn't ever see me happy. It is the quilt that is killing me. I feel like I have never really lived. Should I give life a try? Go out and find me a girl? It is the only thing I want. To find a nice girl.