I feel blank.

I do not feel sad. I do not feel like harming myself. I do not feel lonely. I do not feel like I need a drink. I do not feel like I want to get high. I just feel blank. Like I am not even here. I am usually a pretty emotional person, so this is very strange for me. I don't know what to do. The absence of any emotion or feeling is completely alien to me. Am I turning into a sociopath? Have I stepped into the deep end of my depresssion?
I haven't seen my friends from home for 16 months. I am slowly losing contact with my expat and Korean friends. But this doesn't trouble me. It troubles me that I should care and I don't. This weekend I stayed in my room, alone and did nothing for an entire weekend. What is happening to me? Should I be thankful that I don't have any emotions to guide my will? Or is this a sign that my subconcious has for all intents and purposes given up?

Your thoughts and comments are desired.

 

Have you heard of dissociation?

Also it's not uncommon to become apathetic when you are depressed. I've felt in many times throughout my life.

Are you being treated for your depression?

 

I am not on any medication. I was diagnoised with depression back in 2005 officially but I didn't want to have any medications. I thought I was feeling ok. Truth is I havew probably been clinically depressed for the majority of my teen and adult years if not my entire lifetime. Sometimes I feel ok sopmetimes not. But today I just feel like an android.

 

Well if you are not comfortable taking medications that is ok. Medication and therapy are your best bet but you could just try out some therapy to start off with.

If you go see your doctor they will refer you to someone.

 

You're definitely not turning into a sociopath so don't worry about that. You can't turn into one you are born as one and if you felt emotions most of your life then you are not a sociopath. I know some days I feel like all my relationships with people are frozen and I don't really care if I communicate with anyone. I think it is a normal part of severe depression.