I feel completely lost and hopeless...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Roadrunner223, Jul 27, 2010.

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  1. Roadrunner223

    Roadrunner223 New Member

    I am 22 and have been in a deep state of depression ever since I stopped drinking back in January. My drinking phase started around the time I graduated high school in '06. Never went to college, because I stubborly always thought that I could take my time, it's never too late, right? But ever since then, it seems like things have only gotten worse. During my hard drinking phase, blacking out was not an unusual thing for me. I was in a band (still am) and would throw parties every weekend. There have been countless times that I woke up on the floor, cuts and bruises all over my body, broken glass, and not knowing what the hell happened that night. I could've care less. Even when my mom was balling and my younger brother (who plays drums in my band) didn't want anything to do with me. I never took the stand and told them how bad I felt about it. If anything, all I would do was shrug it off and go take some hair of the dog, band rehearsal, then more hardcore drinking, repeated cycle. I was drifting further and further away from my family than I had known.

    Fast forward 2 years. Here I am now. After being rushed to the hospital for achohol poisoning a while back, and even spending a couple nights in the cell. I have been sober now for about 6 months. The jail experience really opened my eyes. But the past 6 months for me has only served to make me realize how much I have screwed up. Even though I'm clean now, my past memories haunt me. In short, I feel much regret and a hopeless desire for redemption. I can't take back what I've done and it hurts me to think about how I have hurt others. I don't know what to do. I can't sleep at night and I feel no desire to even get out of bed most days. At this point, I feel no hope whatsoever. If anybody can relate to me or help, that would be greatly appreciated...
  2. lionsheart

    lionsheart Member

    Sometimes we make errors. Why don't you go to the university? I think it would be a great start on your new life. Quitting the band could also be an option
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    congrats on being sober 6mths wow that is an accomplishement 22 yes go back to school get on with you life okay all kinds of people screw up at that young age that is how one learns thru mistake done. Time to show people now what you can do okay talk to councillor or psychologist if need be to let go past and move forward now okay time for more positive moves You have started so well keep going in the right direction okay take care
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree you should start your life now.. Go to university and drop out of the band.. They are going to keep partying and it will cause you to fall off the wagon..Now is your chance.. You will make new friends at Uni..
  5. sunsetsurfer

    sunsetsurfer New Member

    I am listening and I understand your pain; it sucks I know and I understand what you're going through.
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