I'm not sure why, but over the last 5 or 6 months I've just felt very at ease and content. I feel pretty satisfied with what I've accomplished in life so far with regards to bettering myself, and yet I don't want to live anymore. I feel like there's nothing more for me to do. I had previously had severe depression and suicidal thoughts for 3-4 years, but now I don't feel sad at all. I also used to have extreme anxiety and panic attacks almost every day, but I got rid of those through meditation. I thought the suicidal thoughts would go away with the negative feelings, but they aren't, and now it seems as though I'm just waiting until a good day comes along.