I feel depressed at times...but when it happens its HEAVY..

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by NJ_Snake, Jan 18, 2008.

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  1. NJ_Snake

    NJ_Snake Member

    Sometimes I feel drastically depressed, like I have a great life that I love to a certain extent, but then there are certain times where I hate it because of certain things that get to me. I don't know how to cope with these things, I have never felt suicidal but at times I have wanted to hurt myself. I tend to listen to music and get my feelings out that way. I hate the feeling and you see I've never been too emotional...I am not the type of guy to just cry whenever upset..it bottles up in me and when i finally break down, I can't stop crying. And I drink heavily to drown away my emotions..Anyone ever feel the same?
     
  2. NJ_Snake

    NJ_Snake Member

    Wow..am I the only one?
     
  3. NJ_Snake

    NJ_Snake Member

    Can anyone help me?
     
  4. austinhp78

    austinhp78 Well-Known Member

    it generally takes a while for people to respond... im not sure but it sounds like theres the possibility that you could be bi-polar. dont take my word for it cause im not positive, thats just what it reminds me of.
     
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    Hi, and welcome. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way. It can help to talk or write about what's going on. What kind of things are going on that are "getting" to you?For myself, I try and not drink or get high when I'm in a totally sad state. It makes it harder to resist those impulses to hurt myself.
     
  6. NJ_Snake

    NJ_Snake Member

    Well the things that really get to me are my family problems...

    My family seems to put alot of blame on me, like I am always the bad one in the house you know. Because I like things they don't. I have 3 tattoos and when i got my first one i was in so much trouble with them. They hated it, still do. I used to be involved with all the wrong things in the past but I stopped hanging with the wrong people and partaking in that business but even that doesn't seem to be enough...nothing ever is...
     
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    Ugh. Families can be such a mess. My family has the knack of saying just the meanest things, and always at the wrong time! I honestly don't know that they even notice it... they are so tangled up in their on sh*t.... Still hurts, though.

    What are the designs on your tattoos? I have two... a little handmade one from high school on my wrist and a huge-ass celtic design on my back that I got done professionally a few years later.
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    hey, i always feel that way, just dont know where to turn:sad: so i drown my sorrows in a bottle of vodka, and usually end up feeling worse afterwards, and then it just turns into a vicious cycle of depression and drinking...ughh sorry i cant give you any advice , cuz i feel the exact same way, but i do wish you the best of luck and hope you feel better soon

    lynn
     
  9. NJ_Snake

    NJ_Snake Member

    Well my first tattoo is on my right arm of a grim reaper with his hands out throwing dice with the words LIFE IS A GAMBLE written on top of my shoulder. Then i have an ace of spades with a skull in the spade right next to it on the inside of my bicep to match the first tattoo. Then i have a quote on my right forearm.

    Lynn, it is ok...sometimes I just need to vent to people that have felt my pain you know? I drown in Jack Daniels whenever I can't take the pain.
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    yeah, i understand and it's always nice to feel you're not alone, and that the people here can relate to how your feeling and understand your pain. umm jack daniels sounds good right now hehe
     
  11. NJ_Snake

    NJ_Snake Member

    Trust me...I wanted to drink some Jack Daniels today sooooo badly. But I couldn't get it since I had no one to get it for me, but I had a few beers lying around so I just chugged some beers down, but that almost turned ugly because I had forgotten that I had taken Cold medicine earlier...so it resulted in a sick feeling and a horrible headache.
     
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    yeah, alcohol and medicine is a bad combination lol! although i do the same like today, took some meds then couldnt resist a few drinks, made me feel better for about an hour then after that i feel worse than when i started lol! whats causing you to feel depressed? :mellow:
     
  13. NJ_Snake

    NJ_Snake Member

    Well this morning...I woke up later than usual and me and my girlfriend are madly in love with each other, she's a morning person though and loves talking to me throughout the entire day through text messaging while she is at work. But today I woke up extra late and she wasn't happy about it and sorta shut me out for a bit, we resolved it a little bit but she feels really insecure at the moment and I just hate the feeling that I can't get her to smile right now whereas normally I can always bring a smile to her face. And my family situation doesn't help either...it's like everyone in my family is just drifting apart more and more.
     
  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    i guess in that situation there's lots of things you could try to improve it. It sounds as if she is insecure and wants you to show your feelings more, perhaps you could try small romantic things, such as waking that bit early to spend some extra time together or brekkie in bed:wink: im sure she just wants to feel special to you and thinks that your not doing your best, talk it through with her , tell her how you feel, she may suprise you!

    im not very good in giving advice, but tried my best hehe!
     
  15. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    sounds like a stressful start to the day! will you see her tonight? hope you'll get a chance to talk things through with her. do you live together or are you still at home?

    ... btw... totally not a morning person, either! when i lived in the states i'd take the subway to work... i'd be at the door to work (an hour after leaving home) and finally i'd snap awake .... zzzzzzz
     
  16. NJ_Snake

    NJ_Snake Member

    Yea I am going back to my university this sunday, I am on winter break currently. We see each other often we saw each other yesterday and were so happy together and even the phone conversation last night was amazing but today was just the opposite. I reassured her and she was happy for a while and then went back to feeling bad.
     
  17. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    it's hard to know what's going on in another person's heart, sounds like she has some issues, insecurity and such. hope you can have a good heart to heart when you next talk. i also hope that you can tell her how bad or sad or depressed you've been feeling today, and about wanting to hurt yourself. even if you can't share with her, there will always be someone here on the boards who will listen. i haven't been on this forum long, but i'm seeing lots of kindness here. hang in there!!!!
     
  18. NJ_Snake

    NJ_Snake Member

    Thank you for the concern Dazzle. I told her, when we talked, its just that I always want to see her happy so it just hurts me whenever she isn't feeling good about herself.
     
  19. LILICHIPIE

    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member


    HEY there!
    Im bipolar and doesnt sound bipolar to me.bipolars will switch off moods in a sec and for a large amount of time will go on a manic state. a manic state is feeling great, invincible, getting no sleep, diziness, having trouble speaking, memory loss..then feeling very endlessly low.
    its making me so angry sometimes that people who have some switch moods will just end up saying "well yeah i might be bipolar". Being bipolar s become somehow fashionable ( geez thats sick!!!), still its a serious illness ( previously known as manic depression, many people dont even know that, they r still talking shit about it=that isnt still known how to be permanently treated. Along with schyzophrenia, its the ONLY illness that ur sure u ll end up taking one medication ( lithium in fact) all ur life.

    sound more like a depression state but if uve suffered for a long time, could be borderline personality dirsorder. i strongly encourage u to talk to a doc to get a diagnosis, talk about it around u and if u cant, come here and vent. well be here for u.
    have u been on a medication?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 19, 2008
  20. NJ_Snake

    NJ_Snake Member

    Nope no medication, I haven't spoken to a doctor about this situation either. Just been riding it out, I guess my rough family life has been there all my life but it started depressing me recently these past 2 years.
     
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