I feel different, like everyone else...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Seemsfine, Apr 24, 2009.

  1. Seemsfine

    Seemsfine New Member

    I have been searching the net for hours trying to find someone with a situation similar to mine that I can relate to. I think about my suicide more often than I think about anything else. I realize this is pretty typical for people planning their own death, but I'm not the least bit upset about it. It just feels like a fact of life for me (no pun intended). I only hesitate because I need to take care of some of my responsibilities first like making sure my life insurance is active and my house is paid off for my wife and daughter so they aren't completely stranded after I die. I could care less about everyone's emotional trauma after the fact, I just don't want to leave behind any material burdens. I secretly tattooed the date of death on my body as a constant reminder of my commitment, although there is no way I would forget as it's all I ever think of. I keep reading that suicide is not the solution for small problems, and I have to agree with this. In my mind, nothing is more important then the act its self. If I were to win $30 million dollars today, land my dream job, meet my soul mate and make a hundred awesome friends, became famous and found paradise I would still not hesitate to kill myself when the time came. I just have to do it. Nothing else matters. Does anyone else feel like suicide is their obligation and not just an answer to their sadness? I am a perfectly content man with no big problems in life and by many people's standards, I have a great life and a lot to live for. I just feel like it needs to end pretty soon on my own terms. Tell me if your feelings are the same.J
     
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I use to feel that way.. But now I only think about it..I won't act on it again..It's taken me four years of therapy with one of the best therapists I have found, My meds, And the support I get here from the friends I have made..
    Suicide doesn't have to be the answer.. You have some underlying issues you need to get out..Only a good therapist can bring them to the surface..Back last November I was finally ready to end it, I was tired of fighting it.. I was calm and was not worried at all what would happen once I commited.. Then I had a member here who saw how my replies were changing and knew something was up.. He stuck with me thru thick and thin steadily encourageing me not to go thru with it..
    I am in his debt for saving my life..If he wasn't so persistant I would be gone..So you see things can turn out to be better for you.. You really need to seek some professional help..As far as your life insurance goes, if you commit suicide they won't pay your wife anything..
     
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    From what I've seen in the past, your life insurance won't pay anything if you kill yourself.

    I guess my question is ... why do you want to do it? What's making you feel that this is the right decision for you?