So, a few months ago I was out shopping and I met a man who was on a stall selling his artwork. There was an attraction, we both felt it and you could tell by the way we looked at one another but I was too shy to say anything, so he just gave me his business card with his name on and asked me to add him on Facebook. I really thought he was gorgeous and I was really attracted to his Caribbean accent too so of course when I left I added him. We got to chatting, we spoke all the time and we finally planned to meet up. I was so nervous but managed to hide my nerves and we had a lovely afternoon together (he even cooked for me). Then, we decided to watch a movie but because his sofa's aren't too comfortable or easy for cuddling we snuggled up (clothed) in his bed and watched our movie. After a little while he started to slowly move his hand up my body and touch me, I stopped him and said no but he carried on. I don't really want to explain the details, but you just need to know that I said no, over and over until I realised that this was inevitable, so I just kept quiet while screaming inside. I'm not going to pretend that we never spoke about sex, because we sometimes did and we exchanged pics, but I made it so clear that I'd only do it when I was comfortable. Now, I can't possibly tell anyone that knows me about this, because after this time I went back to see him. I was so stupid, but I now know he played mind games with me, he preyed on my weaknesses and made me think he really cared, when he only wanted sex... Any way he could. And I believed I had asked for it, so in my mind he was a sweet man. Something that makes this worse for me, is that he did not use a condom... I am so, so scared that I have contracted something, and in myself I do not feel the same down there. I don't know whether it is because it was forced or not. I just feel so lost. Going to the clinic alone is a no no because of my anxiety, and I can't tell anyone about it, but I know I need to be checked out. I just feel so pathetic and dirty.