I Feel Disgusting Because of Rape *(TRIGGER WARNING)*

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by KayKayBug, Nov 6, 2015.


Am I right in denying my boyfriend?

  1. Yes

    0 vote(s)
  2. No

    4 vote(s)
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  1. KayKayBug

    KayKayBug Member

    So recently I was raped by my friends ex- boyfriend. I met him the first few weeks of college and all was well. Then i got in a fight with my own boyfriend and broke up with him. To comfort me, my rapist offered to take me out for coffee: I agreed.

    He took me to his house saying he forgot his card and asked if i wanted to go inside rather than wait in the hot car. Me being stupidly trusting: agreed to go inside.

    Im sure you all can see where this went from there. I feel so dirty... so gross and defiled. I mean i wasn't a virgin, but still. Being hit and thrown around and used like that... I have nightmares every night... I wont let my boyfriend (I got back with him later on) touch me because he deserves better... I avoid human contact at all costs, all i want to do is cry and sleep...

    I feel Disgusting.

    I guess what i need to know is what i'm doing wrong? Poll below.
  2. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    Kay, I am sorry for what you have gone through I do not feel that you are doing anything wrong! You have been through a humiliating, and Horrific experience yes and violated as well, You have done nothing wrong, it does not matter if you were a Virgin or not that has nothing to do what you went through, Have you had counseling or any type of crisis intervention?, If you have not I would ask you to at the minimum speak to someone about it! You need to do something to get some support, you have a poll is that going to change your mind one way or the other? You cannot stand being touched avoiding human contact, you cry and want to sleep! I guess I do not understand the poll? I feel that you have to explore your own feelings before I would worry about what anyone else s are, please seek therapy! talk to some others in here as well, we have people that have had to go through the same trials that you are now, ask for some input from them, their opinion and point of view would be more important and relevant then mine or I feel then that poll , that however is your choice, I am giving you my opinion and perspective! Please Be Safe and Be Gentle on yourself You are not dirty but i understand what you mean, the feeling will remain for a while, you are the same person you were before, you have not changed, physically I mean, If your Boyfriend is Sticking with you I hope you have said something to him, he is still there after all I wish you the best in whatever you do, We have people here that will talk with you! Ask! some you will not need to!
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