I know I have things I have to do but I just don't feel like doing anything. I try getting myself out of it but it always comes back. Ever since I started having sleep problems I just get so down. I just don't even know what I'm physically capable of anymore. I need to look for a job to move out eventually. I need to be studying for exams coming up. I used to be a 4.0 student every semester I was on the dean's list. Luckily last semester I made it. I just don't feel young anymore. I don't feel healthy anymore. I don't even know what keeps me alive anymore. Before I was physically fit, always exercising lifting weights, and running. I was very happy with life. I always felt like i was growing, now it feels like I'm always decaying. My legs hurt, my arms hurt, and my eyes hurt. I'm always out of breath. I've been sleeping a lot better but I average 3 hours a night. I was so bad I used to sleep 4 or 8 hours a whole week. Sometimes I would sleep on the 8th day. I used to sleep 9 hours every night berfore i had any problems. I feel like crap, and I start to question my existence. Why should I live? When others are living the carefree life I used to have. Why should such a wasted life continue to exist, merely sucking the life out of everyone else. It practically feels like a crime. It feels like my death would stop that. However I did see a sleep specialist, and I'm going to a sleep study in February. I know once I'm dead I can't take that back. So I want to know if there is anything salvageable from my life or if I can pick up enough pieces to continue going on.