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I feel down all the time.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Cmiles, Jan 18, 2015.

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  1. Cmiles

    Cmiles Member

    I know I have things I have to do but I just don't feel like doing anything. I try getting myself out of it but it always comes back. Ever since I started having sleep problems I just get so down. I just don't even know what I'm physically capable of anymore. I need to look for a job to move out eventually. I need to be studying for exams coming up. I used to be a 4.0 student every semester I was on the dean's list. Luckily last semester I made it. I just don't feel young anymore. I don't feel healthy anymore. I don't even know what keeps me alive anymore. Before I was physically fit, always exercising lifting weights, and running. I was very happy with life. I always felt like i was growing, now it feels like I'm always decaying. My legs hurt, my arms hurt, and my eyes hurt. I'm always out of breath. I've been sleeping a lot better but I average 3 hours a night. I was so bad I used to sleep 4 or 8 hours a whole week. Sometimes I would sleep on the 8th day. I used to sleep 9 hours every night berfore i had any problems. I feel like crap, and I start to question my existence. Why should I live? When others are living the carefree life I used to have. Why should such a wasted life continue to exist, merely sucking the life out of everyone else. It practically feels like a crime. It feels like my death would stop that. However I did see a sleep specialist, and I'm going to a sleep study in February. I know once I'm dead I can't take that back. So I want to know if there is anything salvageable from my life or if I can pick up enough pieces to continue going on.
  2. Cmiles

    Cmiles Member

    I don't know. Perhaps I sound like someone who just doesn't know what they have. I'm just tired of watching myself fall apart.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Get to your doctors ok get some blood work done see if hemoglobin is low or your thyroid is working etc Lots of reasons why you are not sleeping well and why you feel so crappy
    Please make appt with you gp and also talk to the councilor at your school to see what can be done to help you maintain your good average
    Let them know what is happening to you so you can get the support you need at the school
  4. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    sleep study sounds cool. what does that entail?
  5. Cmiles

    Cmiles Member

    I have seen my doctor multiple times. I've done bloodwork. They didn't explain what it was for but they did take my blood. He did mention something about the thyroid but nothing came of it. Whenever I talk to people about my sleep they just think I'm crazy. I've seen a school counselor about it. I did that for a few weeks but nothing changed. A sleep study is exactly as it sounds. They will check if I have sleep apnea. They will also being doing other things I don't know the exact way to say it.
  6. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    The older we get the less forgiving our bodies are with abuse we dish out.

    Sleep is important part that helps the body heal. When I wasn't able to sleep, my body shut down and felt like I was trapped in ancient persons body...now with medicine Im able to sleep sound for 6-7 hours a night if not more.
  7. Cmiles

    Cmiles Member

    I've tried sleeping aid's as well. I tried benedryll, mealtonin and ambien. They didn't do much. Benedryll and mealtonin did absolutely nothing. I couldn't sleep all night using them. At first when I was on ambien it didnt work I didn't sleep all night. I called my doctor and he said to double the dosage. When I took it then I was finally able to fall asleep but I was still waking up at 4am. That was when my sleep problems were really bad though. Idk I've been to the doctors office so many times for sleeping problems I feel there's just nothing they can do. I've tried so many things and I feel backed into a corner. I try to just buckle down but I feel I just burn out quickly. It's hard to stay concentrated in school. It's hard trying to study all the material I just don't know how I'm suppose to do it anymore. It's annoying how I was so healthy, doing so good in school, doing everything to the best of my abilities. No I just don't have a grip on things anymore. I just feel I can never be like that again. If i could start sleeping somewhat normally I feel I could do my best to forget all this ever happened. Because it feels like the worst thing to ever happen in my life.
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