I feel embarassed about my childhood

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Bird1276, Oct 25, 2006.

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  1. Bird1276

    Bird1276 Member

    Why do i feel so ashamed?
    I can speak about almost everything but i have a taboo, i feel ashamed about my childhood. I masturbated in public as a child. It began when i was 6 years of age. I would rub on objects. It lasted years.
    I could never talk about this with the people i trust. And i don´t want to hide anything but i can´t talk about masturbation.
    In family gatherings i avoid or change subject when someone starts to talk about childhood. I have a secret fear they will mention something embarrassing.
    Also i used to play with a cousin (when i was a child) and she also had some inappropriate behavior with a dog. I never talk about that but i remember. So my family or other people also remember what i did.
    I wanna be free of that.
  2. tip

    tip Guest

    You can't escape the past...whatever you do it will always be there, and you cannot change it.

    You must accept it happened, and just move past it. Your not that person anymore (I gather), and everyone has dark secrets - there is no need to tell your friends because you have nothing to feel guilty about.

    I don't know how old your cousin is but if you really need to talk to someone, talk to her because she can relate to your feelings.

    What can u do? What's the worst people can say to you? It was some time ago, and you started as a child (6) and didn't know any better - and it took you some time to realise it was wrong.

    ....you can never be free of it - your family and yourself will always know about it - but getting past it and doing POSITIVE things in your life that will eclipse that will be the only way it can be pushed far far away.

    I was honest and hope I helped a little.
  3. Bird1276

    Bird1276 Member

    Thanks for the reply. You did help me.
    I cannot change my past and i have to accept it. Yet i still feel embarassed. My cousin and I are the same age. But i cannot talk to her, i don´t wanna dig into our past, something that happened 20 years ago. Besides that would involve other people, events that took place on that period of time, and that would be particularly painfull for her.
  4. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I am sorry you feel ashamed, but you were a child and probably had emotional problems and mental problems too, I don't know too much about this like that, but it's your past and you were a child you didn't know better or even why you felt a need for that.

    If you ever need to talk about that or anything else just PM me I would love to talk with you. :hug: :hug: :hug:

    Here you can speak freely, be supported and supportive, make friends and not fear that others will hate you or make fun of you, because that won't happen.

    ~With loving thoughs,
  5. Bird1276

    Bird1276 Member

    Mental problems? That´s shocking. Never thought of this before. But yes could be that.
  6. tip

    tip Guest

    If mental problems is a possibility, discreet professional help may be a good remedy. But if your ok now then I don't think thats a big possibility. Then again if you ever have any fear of those things happening again...it would be best to see a professional. But I think letting the past be the past will keep things there and you'll be fine.

    I'm glad I could help a little, I'm not proud of some things I've done in my life..and they still haunt me - sharing them would just increase the pain, I just have to move on because..thats the past and I can't do a damn thing about it.
  7. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I agree, therapy and possibly meds could make you feel better like the depressed fog can lift......:cloud9:

    Take care and I am here if you need me..... :hug:

  8. Bird1276

    Bird1276 Member

    I just wanna say that i don´t do it now. I did in my childhood. I know i had problems, it´s not normal specially for a child.

    Thanks tip and painNsiolence! I´m glad i told someone.
  9. tip

    tip Guest

    well thats cool you past it, thats a big step, like I said just focus on the here and now, you can't rewrite the past but you can change the future.

    anytime man, we don't judge we just here to help
  10. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I am glad you let it out too hun......we here whenever you need us! :hug:
  11. Bird1276

    Bird1276 Member

    I´m a woman. Probably if i were a man i wouldn´t feel this way about that.
  12. tip

    tip Guest

    i meant man in the "buddy, mate, dude" type sense - but thanks cos I wasn't sure anyway!

    nahh i think there is more of a negative stigma related to women n dat stuff, but I think a guy in the same situation would be just as embarassed - although your prolly right that the atitudes of society make it alot more difficult for a woman.
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