I feel guilty about wanting to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Thinice, Feb 10, 2009.

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  1. Thinice

    Thinice Well-Known Member

    I have lots of friends, online and in real life. I go to college and all my friends there say they miss me and want me to come back. I have just got a part time job, working on Saturdays. I have a good family for the most part, apart from when my Dad kicked me out, but oh well. I think the only person who really couldn't give a shit is my ex-girlfriend.

    I feel bad about letting everyone down and feeling like I want to die when I shouldn't. There are so many people who have it worse than me and it makes me feel even worse about myself than I already do. I wish I didn't want to die, but it's all I think about, every single day.

    I don't want to physically kill myself, I just want to not exist. The only thing I'll regret about dying is that I won't be able to see some of the reactions of people. Will they really care, or is it all an act? Does my ex care about me after all? Who knows.

    I don't really know what this thread is for, to be honest. Has anyone else felt the same way as I do right now?
  2. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    You really care what other people think about you, and I think that is what is hurting you so much. When it feels like they don't care, then you want to just disappear, do you think then you would be getting back at them in some way? Are you angry at them? It seems like you have a lot of feelings under the surface that are causing all of this turmoil that you are feeling and you have to find a way to get them out that does not involve hurting yourself.

    I have felt like you felt, and I found that it usually means that I am avoiding some sort of unpleasant feelings that I don't want to deal with, but I need to deal with in order to feel better.

    Hang in there, people care about you, and it's ok to feel how you are feeling.
  3. porcelain child

    porcelain child Well-Known Member

    What is it that making you want to die.. is it the feeling you feel that no one cares about you?

    If it is could you ask them this...

    Have you got any support around you? That can help you through this tough time...

    Also it doesn't matter if you have friends and a good life.. something is obviously making you unhappy...

    Here if you wanna talk..

  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I know exactly how how you are feeling :(

    What makes you think noone cares about you? :hug:

    If you want to talk privately,you can pm me! xx
  5. Thinice

    Thinice Well-Known Member

    I'm going to give it til the 17th. The 17th is when I'm going to the ultimate-guitar.com meet in Sheffield and I don't want to miss that. After that, who knows.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I think you will find that alot of ppl have suicidal ideations both here at the forum and in real life. You would probably be surprised how many of your friends have thought about it one time or another. Don't let it drag you down having such thoughts are normal according to my therapist. Now if you are having them constantly I would highly reccomend you get some professional help. My self I have learned that a good therapist beets a doctor everytime. Alot of your shrinks are idiots. Do you have any close friends you can talk to about this? Maybe start seeing a therapist and start working yourself back into college. You need a good education now adays. Take pride in your accomplishments. Hold onto your positive thoughts so the negative ones can't sneek in on you. Talking is the best medicine, so you really need someone you can open up to, be it a professional, or a counselor at school, or your best friend. You just need to let it out so it doesn't stagnate because it could lead to other problems. Take care my friend...~Joseph~
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