I feel guilty after I get drunk or high...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by skyisburning, Jun 5, 2010.

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  1. skyisburning

    skyisburning Well-Known Member

    I don't drink or smoke weed often...usually just once or twice on the weekends, and sometimes it's a 2 week break between me doing anything. But it never fails, that after I come down from being drunk or high, I feel horrible. I feel like a worthless piece of shit. Like I don't deserve to live for some reason.

    I really don't know why, because while I'm drinking or smoking weed, I typically am having an absolute blast...the only thing I can think of is the guilt I feel because: 1)when I drink I am very talkative, and I am normally a reserved person when I'm sober, so I feel guilty for saying stupid shit or gossiping or whatever comes out of my mouth, and 2)when I'm high, I love to eat (and I'm extremely self-conscious about my weight, so the repercussions from that should be pretty obvious) and also, I get embarrassed when I go out in public high, because I know that people know I'm high...and it's a shameful feeling.

    I don't know what I'm expecting anyone to tell me on this post. Does anyone else feel like this? It sucks. :no:
  2. Brandon

    Brandon Well-Known Member

    Yeah the feeling really does suck. I used to feel this way a lot of times after shooting up, which only led to me to work harder for the next high (a vicious cycle, I know). I mostly felt this way probably because of what I had to do to get the money for the drugs, because after a while, as the addiction worsened, I needed a shitload of money to do it twice a day. It's a horrible feeling, and I began to rely on the drugs to feel "normal" again, because I was so depressed when I wasn't high. Anyway, I'm just rambling here, so I'll leave it at that.
  3. empty101

    empty101 Well-Known Member

    I used to be in pretty much the exact situation with weed. Sometimes it would make me withdraw or feel embarrassed being high in public, feel embarrassed having red eyes, and just make me feel yucky.

    I mean a lot of the time I did it I had a decent time but after I felt like I was a piece of crap while on it. Plus sometimes I felt it the next day. I rarely smoked extremely frequently as well so I never gained tolerance and it would always really affect me. Plus I feel like if some people knew I smoked weed (rumours, etc.) they'd think low of me and I wouldn't want that. I'd also be worried something would happen and I'd have to deal with a serious situation while completely and obviously stoned.

    So, guess what... I quit and never smoked weed again. I just told my friends I was never going to do it again, they tried to push it on me a few times, it didn't work and they stopped.

    Now I've realized that green/white tea is the exact opposite... it's guaranteed to make you feel good, it's healthy for you, it cleans your system instead of dirtying it, is very cheap and simple to make etc. etc. If you are the kind of person that feels guilty smoking weed, I bet you're the kind of person that feels good when you do things that are good for you. Plus when you are healthy you will probably be more comfortable with yourself and will not be as self-conscious... you'll either be more comfortable with being a reserved person or be less reserved (I'm both of those now). Now when people smoke weed I feel good knowing I'm not one of them :)
  4. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    There's nothing wrong with being talkative, having a blast, saying 'stupid shit,' eating, or others realising you're high. You sound like you're having a good time and there's nothing wrong with that. I'd say it only becomes a problem when it interferes with your life and you can't stop going high/getting drunk.

    Are you anxious around people normally? You mentioned being conscious of your weight, but socially- are you frightened when you're not high/drunk - how you appear to others? Because that might be why you feel so low/guilty afterwards.
  5. NotMyNormalSN

    NotMyNormalSN Active Member

    Have you tried going to sleep before you sober up and try doing something mentally stimulating immediately when you wake up so you don't think about it?
  6. monnie101

    monnie101 Member

    I don't think your doing anything wrong but I know how you feel. You are more talkative and when you sober up you think, "why did I say that? I wonder if anyone thinks bad of me because I said this or did that?" Well, you know what, it's pretty normal. A lot of people feel that way. I know I do. Which is why I try not to drink too much. But as long as your not going out of control, your really not doing anything wrong. Your just feeling self consience and I'd bet that even when sober you are a self consience person like myself. I read some self help stuff to help me like thinking positive, law of attraction. I don't believe in the spiritual side of it but the thinking positive side helps.
  7. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    Honestly its probably only because your endorfins (pleasure chemicals of the brain) are released almost entirely when you imbibe on intoxicants. Almost every Sunday I fell like "what am I doing with my life?" I just realized that its not a feeling its just the absence of the human body's natural high and coping mechanism, good old epineprin and endorfins. This Saturday I decided to not get bombed like I do ever weekend. And surprise surprise I didn't feel like an asshole the next day. I used to smoke alot of weed. I love the stuff. But being in a country that it is hard to find and definately not worth trying to find has cleared my head up pretty well. Unfortunately this made my drinking habits increase. My point is, lay off the stuff for a bit and see how you feel. You might not have a substance abuse problem, but sometimes it does feel good to be sober. Take it from a fellow weekend warrior.
  8. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    If I expereinced these things I would stop doing them. I seriously doubt you need to do them to be an enjoyable person to be around. It is wrong, and you know it is wrong. Need I say more?
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