I feel hated...WHY?!

Discussion in 'Bullying and Violence' started by SAVE_ME, Jan 30, 2008.

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  1. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Hey all, I figured I'd post this here cause, well, it does kinda seem like a bullying incident...to me it does anyway....I feel very hated atm, and tbh it's quite scary for me cause I have never, nor would I ever do anything to intentionally upset anybody. It just seems as though there's no room for nice guys in this world...and well, if there is, then we're just pushed aside, walked all over and treated like sh**!

    I dunno, I guess it was triggered a few days ago...see, I go on this wrestling rping site (e-fed) a lot, help out on the staff there etc etc...well, last week we had the weekly card with the matches...for those who don't know what this is, we get an opponent to go up against this and we write a rp or "short story" to try and beat theirs...mine was a tag team match, I was teaming up with my gf against two other guys....I was having a convo with one of the guys on the other team over MSN a few nights back...it was coming close to the deadline and we were both stuck for rp ideas, so he had a little joke and said: "lol maybe we should leave it up to our partners"...I thought he was just bluffing and said in a joking sort of way: "lol yeah, good idea", cause he usually manages to get something up, even if it's short, sweet and to the point. Bearing in mind, I wasn't about to let my gf do all the work, so I did my part and posted my rp before the deadline. The next day, the guy came on and sent me an angry message titled "i hate you", and basically started ripping into me, saying how I said I wouldn't rp and made him "look bad" because of it...he said he "wouldn't forget it" etc etc, making me look like a complete ass who did it "deliberately" to stab him in the back.

    First of all, it's just a game! Why do ppl get so worked up over these things?! Secondly, I now feel like I've been shunned on there by everyone. Nobody ever rps with me anymore, except for my gf and our friend...I dunno...I feel shocked for one that this guy flipped the bird like he did, and also hated...I go on there to forget all my problems and have fun, but now it's starting to feel like I'm being "bullied" in essence, over the internet.

    What makes things worse is that this guy happens to be one of the admins there, so it's not as if I can really say or do anything. This is depressing like you wouldn't believe...I mean, I'm used to this sort of thing happening in rl, but over the internet now?! Someone give me a break!

    Another incident involving the same guy, was when I decided to create an e-fed myself one time...as soon as it opened, like 5 mins later he was posting in the chat box, saying "I hate you" and ripping into me because the site looked similar to the fed he co-owns...so within minutes I closed it down...to this day I don't want to run a site of my own in fear of the same thing happening....it's like building a sandcastle, and having some bigger kid stomp all over it because it's similar to theirs....it's discouraging to say the least...what I don't get though is what he was even doing there...I didn't give him the link or anything, and out of ALL the sites on the list, mine gets targeted.

    Don't think too badly of him, cause he is a nice guy...a lot of times he's been like an older brother to me, and has helped me out a bit over my depression...and truth be told, this is only really the second time he's gone off on one at me. Still though, it does upset me....sometimes it does feel like I'm a target.

    Sorry if what I said doesn't make sense...I know I tend to ramble sometimes...
     
  2. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Man, he STILL isn't letting it go!! WTF is with ppl?!! Some ppl need to grow up, I swear, this is getting annoying!!

    It's amazing, I piss ppl off even when I don't try to! That's how screwed up my life is!! That the slightest thing I say or do sends ppl into a fit! You know what though? This is too much!

    I dealt with something similar a few years ago with a rl friend...didn't do anything to hurt or upset him, just one day he turned round and told me to go shove it! I didn't have a clue what it was I'm supposed to have done! But no!! This has happened once too many times for me!! If ppl hate me this much then I shouldn't stick around!!
     
  3. Melmoth the Wanderer

    Melmoth the Wanderer Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear you're having trouble. It seems like the internet would be the one place we could relax and not have to worry about conflicts and misunderstandings, but it isn't.

    Did you explain to the guy what really happened? It may have seemed obvious to you that you didn't do anything intentionally, but it isn't obvious to him. Tell him plainly that it was a mistake and that you honestly did not intend to stab him in the back. Most likely, he'll get over it.

    If he's still angry, however, you could consider apologizing. I know you didn't do anything wrong, but you could apologize for unintentionally upsetting him. Apologizing sucks, but I find that it's the best way to end a silly and drawn-out argument...It still sucks, though, I know.

    I hope everything works out!
     
  4. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    He's being a big baby over nothing...he's acting like a bitchy little schoolgirl...

    I'm not going to apologize cause...well...I don't have anything to apologize for...

    ...this just proves my point...the world is a cruel and vicious place! There are no "friends"! No real ones anyway! I put my trust in ppl time and time again and yet somehow, I always end up back at square one!

    I'm sick of it! Just shows how much I fail at life!

    A lot of ppl seem to hate me for some reason...doesn't matter where I go or what I do, ppl seem to shun and ignore me.

    Meh...I should've been drowned at birth...
     
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Having been on the receiving end of people who feel they can say what they like when they like (on here actually:blink:) I know exactly how you feel.
    Seems only their feelings are valid and that you are not supposed to get upset, angry or just plain fed up when they say inappropriate things.
    So you can either retaliate and then we're in "an eye for an eye till all the world be blind" mode, or you can try and patch it up (only if you feel its worth it), or just ignore the person.
    What you don't do is let this person tip you over the edge. :hug:
     
  6. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    I sent a PM to the head admin on there. He's more likely to listen to her than me. To be honest, I want to patch things up. It's a stupid little misunderstanding...ppl have come and gone off that site after getting into fights with him and it's not worth it. It just seems so stupid and immature that someone throws a tantrum over something so silly. It's just a game for crying out loud! Why do ppl take these things so seriously?
     
  7. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, Sean,

    Sounds like you came up with a good plan there. And if he's doing it to everyone, you're right, it isn't worth it - maybe ignore him if you can?

    Yup, I agree. It does seem stupid and immature on his part.

    But since you asked, "why" people can be like that ... My theory is simple. I think that human nature is such that everyone wants to feel that they have a real say in how life plays out for them - a bit of "control" over what happens to them. If they feel really powerless in a lot of areas of their lives, then they "grab for power" wherever, however, whenever they can. Such as that oh-so-powerful feeling of bullying someone on the internet (sarcasm!). That's pretty sad, isn't it?

    And yes, I realize it's easier for me to say that when I'm not in your shoes and on the receiving end of the guy's nastiness. But you sound like the reasonable person here, not him. And if I can see that, and he's already ranted and sniped at other people, no one at the site sees you as the villain or cause. They know it's him.

    Finally, just think: At least he's not sitting right beside you and violating the air around you. :smile:

    Go easy on yourself, take care!

    A.
     
  8. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    You've shown that your a better person than that clown by wanting to patch things up even if he's the one who's being pretty pathetic.

    Don't let people like that put you off. Yeah, the world is full of turds but there are also genuine, nice people out there as well.
     
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :hug: sean
     
  10. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Well, I got a reply from the head admin on there, and she agrees that it was a silly little thing for him to get upset over...apparently, he's been dealing with his fair share of problems...I won't go into detail cause I don't think he'd want me to, but yeah, long story short it's been causing him to go on these mood swings and take things out on ppl...she suggested I try and talk to him, so yeah...I sent him a PM...if he ignores it or he's still mad or w/e afterwards, then fine, can't say I didn't try to put things right...just trying to swallow my pride and be the man here.
     
  11. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    I'm so f***ing confused!! :cry: :cry: :cry:

    Ok, so I got a reply...he says he's an "in the moment" kind of guy, and he reacted "in the moment" then...he says he actually forgot all about it til the head admin brought it up with him...didn't take too kindly to that...he said if he was joking he would've mentioned it, and that I should've asked...and about the "I hate you" comment, he was apparently joking about that...

    ...you know what? Why don't I just die? I went and made things worse! AND I made a f***ing fool of myself there!! And for what?!! Not only that...but I'm confused as well!! I dunno! Man! I wish someone would just shoot me right now!! UUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!
     
  12. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Sean,

    I think he's just being defensive - trying to justify his behavior. You didn't do anything wrong or make it worse.

    Please don't hurt yourself. I really hope you stay safe, hun.

    :hug:

    A.
     
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