I have been in a relationship for 7 months, we were good friends for the past 3 years. The relationship side of things just kinda happened. I fell hopelessly in love right away. Before this, I had never been in a relationship and really never felt that attraction towards anyone else. It was like I fell in love emotionally and then the physical came later. I can honestly say that being in love like this is the happiest I have ever been before. Literally floating and just so happy towards life in general Anyways, it was not without problems. I can truly and honestly say that I think the basis for most of it was not me. She has had a lifetime of issues... Abandonment issues as a child, abusive relationships, etc. The biggest problem would be her alcohol use. Once or twice a week getting black out drunk, and then arguing/getting mad at me and saying hurtful things. Then the next day would always be rough as well. Even though all that sounds bad, I am truly in love with her. She told me in the past that we were breaking up, etc and then a few days later everything would be fine again. Like an ongoing cycle. This time though, it's been a week and I think she's serious. I don't really know how to describe it, but it's like I feel she has some issues that make her pull away when she starts to feel too close to someone. I am just so depressed over the whole situation. I don't know how to explain it but it's like I truly feel this is my soulmate and I'm losing her. I miss her so terribly I can't put it into words. It's like this hurting pain I feel inside. I feel like I would rather end this pain. It's like I'm losing my best friend along with my relationship. I think it's harder too because of how in the past, I felt this way and then things would get back to normal. So it's like I don't know if I should hold onto hope, or if I should just end this pain I am feeling every second. It sounds so easy to say someone else is out there for me, but it's like I am so in love already, I don't want anyone else. I am shy and don't really make friends easily as it is. It's harder than it sounds. I just don't know what to do next.