Hi, this is my first post on here. I'm here looking for guidance and support with my situation. I feel absolutely hopeless right now... I've had depression and suicidal thoughts for most of teenage years, now boiling over into adulthood. I've questioned my existence on this planet, my purpose, pretty much my meaning for being here more times than I can count. I've tried everything...counseling, meds, self-medicating...and nothing works. I basically have no social life. I stay inside all day when I'm not working my shitty job and never want to leave the comfort of my room with my computer and video games. I put blankets on the windows to block out the light. I rarely leave my room unless it's to get food...so basically, I'm a recluse. My family is moving along in the world, high school graduations, colleges, promotions at work, awards...and then there's me...a fucking loser who barely got his GED, let alone a job...a job that's total shit and could probably be done better by a monkey. I'm a disgrace to my family name... I think about suicide pretty often nowadays...I'm close to giving up...I feel worthless. If my family saw me type this, they'd call me weak and say I wanted to take the easy way out... I feel like the walls are closing in on me...I don't know what to do...Please help me.