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I feel hopeless right now...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Zeratul94, Aug 29, 2015.

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  1. Zeratul94

    Zeratul94 New Member

    Hi, this is my first post on here. I'm here looking for guidance and support with my situation. I feel absolutely hopeless right now... I've had depression and suicidal thoughts for most of teenage years, now boiling over into adulthood. I've questioned my existence on this planet, my purpose, pretty much my meaning for being here more times than I can count. I've tried everything...counseling, meds, self-medicating...and nothing works. I basically have no social life. I stay inside all day when I'm not working my shitty job and never want to leave the comfort of my room with my computer and video games. I put blankets on the windows to block out the light. I rarely leave my room unless it's to get food...so basically, I'm a recluse. My family is moving along in the world, high school graduations, colleges, promotions at work, awards...and then there's me...a fucking loser who barely got his GED, let alone a job...a job that's total shit and could probably be done better by a monkey. I'm a disgrace to my family name... I think about suicide pretty often nowadays...I'm close to giving up...I feel worthless. If my family saw me type this, they'd call me weak and say I wanted to take the easy way out... I feel like the walls are closing in on me...I don't know what to do...Please help me.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I can very well understand part of your problem: you being a recluse. The more and more it appeals to you to not having to deal with the world blocking out the light you are losing part of your life. I spent 5 years as a total recluse,it was hell. I did not finish high school even cos I refused to leave the house, missed out on so much that I can never get back. Well done on getting your GED. You should be proud considering you are suffering with mental illness.

    Please see your doctor and explain to them your issues and they will provide some sort of help. Good luck!
  3. marcpro

    marcpro Member

    Try to open your windows, connect to the world pls just give it a try. Don't leave us life stronger than fear and much more life above death, above depression, above failure and success.
    I was depressed too I got out, talked about it to my family and psychotherapists, tried meditation here's a guide: marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22&oTopID=22
    It can get better but you'll have to work I see so much people complaining about their situation and do nothing to improve it. I was bullied in the past and a recluse too it's a part of me too.
    Hope you'll get better
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