I feel horrible now...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thehollow, Aug 20, 2007.

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  1. thehollow

    thehollow Member

    Hey guys, it's me again. Last time I posted I was feeling a little depressed but now I think it might be worse. Recently I've been looking at symptoms of depression and comparing my current situtation with them... and I've excelled in all of them.

    I barely enjoy the things I used to... I just play video games and browse the Internet mainly. I've lost weight considerably (I was around 130 lbs. over a year ago and now I'm about 110). I've been going to bed at 3 or 4 a.m. and waking up at 12 or 1 p.m. now, something I've never done before. I feel sluggish and slow, and not as intelligent as I used to be (lately I've been making stupid grammatical errors or have just been saying stupid things).

    I feel like a small task is a huge one, especially anything physical. I criticize myself too much and at the stupidest things, and I'm annoyed way too easily. A couple of months ago, I also felt like hurting myself or others would be the only way out.

    I'm 16, and I think there are several causes for how I've been feeling. I worry about my future and the future of the United States way too often (mainly the current capitalistic system, and how the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer, not to mention horrible leadership and declining education). I worry about what I'll be doing, and if any of my career options will even be viable in our future society (for instance, outshipping jobs to other countries, huge competition in industries like IT, etc.).

    My parents also constantly argued when I was younger, and I think that affected me too. They still do sometimes, but not as bad as it was before. We're also from a lower middle class standing, and I constantly worry about the country's economy, ways I'll pay for college, etc. etc. Another thing that makes me feel bad is my lack of friends. I have friends, but only a couple of true friends. I also don't socialize too much... my summer has mainly consisted of me staying home too often. I've never had a girlfriend, and that's another thing that makes me feel bad.

    I've never been to a psychiatrist or any other mental health professional. I think I should though since it's obvious I have a case of depression. I've never tried to take my own life, or anyone else's, and I don't ever plan on it (however it has crossed my mind from time to time, but I dismiss it). However, I try to hang on and make the best of the situation, but you can only create a smoke and mirrors image for so long. I mainly created this thread for venting, but I'd like to hear other's advice about my current situation, and how you coped with symptoms of depression.

    Thanks, and I'll see you around.
  2. Erebos

    Erebos Well-Known Member

    These are all very expected symptoms. Many people, myself include have experienced/are experiencing them. Perhaps the right place to start is seeking a professional. Having a solid understanding of the situation and diagnosis, you'll be able to tackle each problem more effectively.
  3. thehollow

    thehollow Member

    Thanks Erebos, I'll probably seek a mental health professional if I don't feel better in a month or so.
  4. markc

    markc Active Member

    Kiddo, please don't wait. Your symptoms are classic (they could describe me.) Find a good mental health professional, preferably a psychiatrist. They can prescribe and you sound as if you are a strong candidate for anti-depressants. They have helped me greatly in the past (when properly prescribed and used.) Having an experienced clinician to talk to about your problems should also be of great help.


    - Mark
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