i feel im in trouble.

[chrissyb111]

On wednesday i wrote a letter to my care coordinator thanking her for her support etc, but nothing has changed since my suicide attempt 3 weeks ago,and that in the new year i am going away some where none will find me untill its too late.(unless a miracle happens).she sent me a email this morning saying she is confused,then she rang me to see if iam going to be "safe" over the weekend and to ring the crisis team if need be.
How can it be confusing i thought my letter was pretty straight forward.Maybe i shouldn't have written to her but i felt the need to so i did.
I have sat here in teatrs thinking my plan is not going to go ahead and for the upset i have caused.
Why oh why do i feel like this.
if it wasn't for xmas and my kids i would do it right now,but i am not that horrible,hence my plan for the new year.
I am now thinking she will have me admitted to hospital against my will and i guess she has the right to do this, but what about my right?.

 

[*sparkle*]

im sorry things aren't going well.... your kids need you not just at Christmas, but all the time. i do hope you can find some support and start to work through things.

 

[Severijn]

Hi chrissyb111.

Understanding your depression is sometimes the first step to becoming better. Do you have any idea where your depression and suicidal thoughts come from?

Has it to do with relationships, money, self-esteem? And for how long do you have these thoughts and problems?

 

[1Lefty]

One of your rights is to live a better life.

I'm sorry you're in pain, and that your worker has not responded.

Your're in a good place here. We care, and you can post your problems here without being judged.

You're important here, and we offer you support and encouragement.

It can be a struggle, lots of us are struggling, too, so we can relate to what you're going through.

Please post again soon, we're good liisteners. (((hugs)))

 

[chrissyb111]

A lot of my problems stem back to my childood, abuse as a child, mother dying from o/d abuse in my marriage.(not married now).think thats more than enough.

 

[windlepoons]

That sounds like a lot to deal with. Do you talk to your care coordinator about them?
It's hard to talk about these things, but it's good to do so.