I'm 20 with a part-time job at a supermarket. I've been working there for a year. I dropped out of college after the first semester without notifying the school (personal reasons, not academic) and was subsequently dismissed. I'm now set to attend a community college in the spring, hopefully getting my associate's for something computer related. I'm fairly timid, reserved, and introverted. I'm of average physical physique and attractiveness. I'm probably of average intelligence, maybe just ever so slightly above average. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend from high school for almost 3 years now. I still live with my parents, but I do pay for my car insurance and cell phone bill monthly, so hey, at least I'm not a 100% freeloader (maybe 90% ). Recently, I've been incredibly unhappy. I feel like I've fucked up my entire life and as I check out the lives of the people I graduated high school with, they're way ahead of me in terms of responsibility, college, social connections, etc. Or, you know, it seems like that anyhow... people do tend to project the best possible image of themselves via social media, so maybe they're being dishonest, dunno. It makes me feel worthless and inferior either way. I don't feel like I should bother going on. I feel like I will just continue to disappoint others and myself. I've been contemplating suicide, but I'm kind of scared to attempt because of the implications of a failed suicide attempt. I'll be 21 in about a year, so I've thought about <mod edit- methods> to kill myself then. I'm mostly a lazy, irresponsible piece of shit. I spend most of my time on the computer or playing video games. I don't really want to go back to college because I feel like it's a gimmick. I sure as hell don't want to work full time retail. So, I figure that the only solution is to commit suicide. I'm not going to go anywhere in life — I've more or less decided that for myself. So instead of just sticking around as a sore disappointment, why shouldn't I just off myself? Seems like it would be easier for me and others around me.