I feel like a fake. For going to therapy, for being on this site, for doctors suggesting i need medication (which i don't want to take!). For example, today i need to go into uni and have a meeting with my supervisor. I got up before 10am (first time in a while), had a shower (another first), ate breakfast and when i am in the meeting, i am sure i'll present myself as competent. So basically, leaving aside the panic and low mood and thoughts of inadequacy (which i refuse to acknowledge) i'm functioning pretty normally right?? The thing is, the past 2 weeks i have been in the worst 'slump' in a while. That's what brought me to this site in the first place. I feel like i am 2 different people. The one who is competent and 'with it' and if not happy, then content in living. Then there's the vulnerable me, the depressed me, the one that does nothing, the one riddled with sadness, grief, anxiety and self-loathing. I hate letting myself feel weak, i hate allowing myself to be seen as vulnerable and i hate even admitting to myself that i may not be happy. But i can't help it when it just pushes its way through and consumes me. If i can present myself as capable when need be, why can i not do it all the time?