I Feel Like A Hero And You Are My Heroin

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Floop, Jul 29, 2008.

  1. Floop

    Floop Member

    There's this guy who i actually think i love.
    He's my bestfriend and i really want it to be more but i know it will ruin our friendship.
    I haven't told him that i love him because he seems happy with his life right now and i don't want to mess him up 'cause i want him to be happy but it's actually killing me inside, He talks to me about girls he likes and everything and i have to sit and listen and give him advice because that's what friends do. Recently he's been putting me off and telling me that he's not in town but then going in with other people and he treats me like crap, it's almost like he doesn't care infact i know he doesn't.
    When we first started becoming good friends i told him that i knew he would loeave me one day because everybody else in my life has, but he promised me that he was different and that he would always be here for me no matter what and no matter how much i kicked and screamed he would never ever leave but he's gone. I guess i was stupid for believeing him. I feel like i need him yet he treats me like dirt. Now i just sound really pathetic and stupid. He's left me alone, to suffer.

    I don't know what to do
    I feel like i need him
     
  2. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

    sometimes we meet people that we just feel like we can't live without. I can relate to you're situation. I don't have good advice coming... From what you've told, it sounds like your friend wants to be just that, friends and nothing more. I think men are a lot easier than we think. What I mean is, if he liked you in the same way as you like him, he would do something about it, tell you, or show you some signs, not say he's leaving town and really just be out with someone else, and not telling you about other girls he's interested in. I think the best thing for you to do right now is just not let him know how you feel. If you tell him, it may only worsen the situation as you said, and if he rejects you, it will cause you more grief then if nothing was said at all. The best thing to do would be to let him tell you first if he has those feelings for you. Men like to chase women. I know it sounds very old-fashioned, and out-dated, but it's true and it may be true til the end of our time. Once you start chasing him, consider it over.
    And you also said he treats you like dirt. That's a clear indication that either he just sees you as a friend or he's just an asshole, either way, you should focus your attention away from him. Find someone else who can give you what you want. Also, it sounds like he is treating you this way because he might be sensing that you've developed feelings for him and he's trying to back off. Don't let him make you feel like dirt. If he doesn't want you, then it's useless trying.
     
  3. Floop

    Floop Member

    he told me that he likes me in that way
    that's why i am so confused
     
  4. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

    hmm, well then... maybe he's feeling like he put himself out there and since you haven't replied, he's feeling like you don't feel the same so he's backing off. so what are you waiting for? if you think you love him, and he likes you that way, tell him how you feel.
     
  5. Floop

    Floop Member

    but he tells me about all these other girls he likes
    and if he wanted me so much wouldn't he
    be wanting to atleast be a close friend
    rather than being so distans and lyring to me?
     
  6. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

    ok... what exactly did he say to you? (about him liking you)
     
  7. Floop

    Floop Member

    well he was sleeping round mine house (he always does, well always use to)
    and he said that he liked someone but at first he wouldn't tell me who
    and he kept giving me hints and everything
    and in the end he just turned round to me and said 'it's you'
    and that's basically it
     
  8. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

    how long ago did he tell you this?
    anyway, the reason why i ask is to get a feel for what's really going on. It sounds as though he tried to open up to you but did not get a reply so he may be feeling hurt about the whole thing and is afraid you're creeped out by him now or something. so that could be the reason why he's telling you about other girls, is to make it seem like he doesn't like you that way anymore so you won't be creeped out. same with 'the not being around' also. i don't know how you really feel about this guy, but if you really do like him, i suggest you tell him before his feelings for you diminish.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 29, 2008
  9. Floop

    Floop Member

    on saturday
    so not even a week ago
    he's meant to be meeting me in town
    tomorrow and sleeping round mine
    i bet you he'll ditch me again though
     
  10. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

    hmm, well maybe you missed your chance to tell him. sometimes you have to strike while the iron is hot. if you feel like he still likes you, and you think you can make something with him, then maybe next time you're alone with him and feeling comfortable enough, ask him "so, did you mean it when you said you like me?" and that could start the conversation again. if he ditches you again, i suggest you ask him what's going on.
     
  11. Floop

    Floop Member

    i don't mind if we don't get into a relationship or anything
    i atleast want him as a friend though
    i haven't been flirting or anything like that so it's not
    like that could put him off me
    he just seems to not want to bother with me anymore