I feel like cutting

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Tanya31, Feb 2, 2016.

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  1. Tanya31

    Tanya31 Member

    It was my bd yesterday it was good but I've been cutting for week someone help me get ready of my blade but I wish I never right now I feel like I can go there again my arm hurt bad because I wanted to do it and I feel like no one understands me and about cutting there like look all the good u done not wanted u wanted to do and went I'm in this mood I can't look at the good just all in my head the blade that all
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Tanya, is there ways you can distract yourself? Can you be creative with your hands? (painting, sowing, colouring etc?)
    How about going for a long walk until the urges go away?
  3. Tanya31

    Tanya31 Member

    Thank yes I love walking and writing to
  4. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    The urge to selfharm is very difficult to fight (I should know...) but do what you can to keep yourself busy. Being creative has often helped me though, especially writing as it's a good way to get emotions out.

    You're welcome to write me too if that helps.
  5. Tanya31

    Tanya31 Member

    But that only take it away for a bit I've try ice red pen and over thinks ice work good for me and I've been doctor and there say ignore it it go away or I'm doing it for attention but I'm not not or there put me on meds and it help a bit but then there take it off me and leave me to deal without help or I give up because there say u doing it for attention and u don't need are help so I say fuck u and walk away I no it will go away but it dose for own a bit then it come back I have pain in my arms and my head go mad at me to do it and I can't stop thinking about it and half the time I don't no why I wanted to do it and I no I after I feel bad about it and I have to hide what I've done to myself
  6. Tanya31

    Tanya31 Member

    Thank u I mite write it down I do that in my phone but I do it again today that dose help
  7. sofie

    sofie Banned Member

    Hi Tanya -- one of the most frustrating aspects of cutting, to me at least, is how addictive it is -- it becomes something that your mind and even body can seem to tell you that you NEED to get through a moment, hour, day, week. That being said...that LONGER you go without cutting, the easier it becomes to not cut. Distracting yourself from the immediate urge is vital to prevent more scars on your body but the key is to get into therapy and uncover what else is going on. I wish you the best and hope you can find your way through this path with as few cuts as possible.
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  8. Miss Invisible

    Miss Invisible Active Member

    I'm working w my therapist on techniques not to SH. talk threrapy has worked wonders for me being able to get out my emotions rather than reach for an object for SH I'm not saying it doesn't still happen but the times have drastically slowed down between incidents. I'm not sure what terms I can use on this site and I don't want to trigger anyone so if I shouldn't post this please tell me. But this severe trauma I experienced left me with the ability to hide my feelings and not be able to release them in any way but hurting myself as a way of self punishment for the shame I feel. My SH had been so bad that I didn't even feel the pain I was putting on my body by SH. I was more or less blacking out and hurting myself until I saw "something vivid" that opened my eyes to what I was doing to make me stop and notice what I had done. Also to me SH was the only control I had on my body, it relaxed me when I couldn't cope with my past and now. it was an immediate release of letting go, and on my terms. many times it occurred where my traumatic marks were. it was as if I needed a validation to myself that I still remembered my trauma even if no one else knew, i knew and that was what i saw when i looked at myself. i wanted to shout it from the rooftops "look what happened to me" but i had no voice so i used my skin as paper to alert anyone how bad i felt inside after i was violated several times. i was screaming inside and scarring myself to look ugly on the outside pleading for help. And for further protection, I tried to be ugly chopping off my very long hair to a "miley" cut by my own hand due to a man showing interest in me. my level of fear and not giving af led me into a much higher protection wall.
    I've been working with my therapist on healthy ways to relieve my pain or feel pain in a healthy manner like grounding for the flashbacks i get often. I can honestly say it has helped some I just have alot of trauma to deal with and some days I think I never will be free from it and question my being in this life. I'm safe in my home, see a therapist and am 100% truthful w her, but but know I'm sinking farther into a hole I can't get out of.so SH is a battle that I understand can very much feel like a coping skill or a need, it just takes time. you can get there, I believe in you!!
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