Not that any of you care. You see a post, you see the name, sometimes youll go on and try and help a person out, but not usually if its me. I understand that fully of course, if i were someone else, and i saw myself as the self that i currently am,(not the someone else i am in the sinario) then, i wouldnt go and talk to her either...(the self i am now being her) I get that im a freak, and i say all the wrong things and that even though people dont KNOW ME they dont like me. I probably will go through my whole life being this way. actually, wait..i have Lets go back for a minute to elementary school..did i have friends??? not...really... Fast forward to highschool. Did i make friends there? uhmm..no..i had even less friends. Now lets come to the current time. College. Did i make friends here? no..i have even less now than i did before. In fact..i have..one. Some days that is, if were both in a good mood. So you see, I understand that ill never be liked by people. That ill never actually MATTER. that i will never be missed and that people dont give a SHIT if i am alive or dead Hopefully in the near future, dead so why im writing this i dont know. Maybe because i WANT to make something of myself...i want to live and be wonderful, i want to have friends, i want to be successful.. But i know i cant...so i give up, i just want to die. i want to cut and bleed so bad. I want to take every pill imaginable and just go to sleep for all eternity. I want to cry and have smeone tell me its alright but i cant because i have NO ONE and because its not...it never will be alright. It will NEVER get better because i cant change, ill never change, everyt ime i think i have it turns out im just the same...and i hate it and im sorry if youactually did take the time to read this because ive wasted like a minute of your life and that was was wrong of me to do to see? i cant do anything right...its hopeless..useless... I dont even know what im saying what im thinking, everythings like....messed up...it doesnt even make sense.