I don't know why but every time when i get stressed out i feel like committing suicide. Just thinking about ending it all relaxes me. Even though I'm atheist I hope there is something, that most people call god. I hope there is something on the other side. Anyways Im 20 year kid with no friends, and mediocre family. It sucks I'm behind in whatever i do. I was suppose to be in College two years ago, but I still haven't even started a class. My whole family thinks I'm weak and retarded, but I guess i just have a really negative view of life. We work all our lives and at the end we die for what reason? If there is something afterlife, something good, wouldn't it be better to just skip the painful part and move on to the good ones. As if there is something.