I feel like i am a total fu**in failure. (alot of swearing just so you know)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by givenuponlife, Nov 16, 2007.

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  1. givenuponlife

    givenuponlife Well-Known Member

    I feel like i am a total fuckin failure. I think of killing myself 24/7 but i dont have the fuckin balls to go thru with it. I have done numerous attempts and never told people. I am good at hiding what i am really feeling from almost everyone and i mean almost, there is one person i cant hide it from. I can even hide it from my parents that i am cronically suicidal. I kind of wish now that when i first attempted that i had succeeded, i had no children and no ex to deal with. People would of been able to handle my death a hell of a lot better then if i were to do it now. I am fighting a daily battle to live. And none of the fuckin psyc doctors here want to even see me unless i am a fuckin in patient and if i am a fuckin in patient i can say by to my kids and then i might as well kill myself casue i would have nothing to live for then. Everyone thinks that oh its all because of the abuse i went thru i am fine nothing is wrong, Bull shit, i have been fighting these demons since i was about 7 years old and the didnt get out of hand until 2003/2004 i think i did damn good at hiding alot of shit in my life. I just dont know what to do anymore maybe i should just end it all.
     
  2. Cluster

    Cluster Active Member

    I am sorry to hear you had a rough upbringing.. i know life seems pointless to you.. i feel like that sometimes. but i do know that with the right attitude to change and finding the method suited for you to overcome your demons, the true you will come back to life. You can find a way, you just need to be strong and fight.. dieng without having tried to change is irrational. I'm not saying you havent tried.. but if you keep fighting the battles and find the right way to change, you CAN find the way. I promise. Everybody can bring life back into themselves, it is not fate but the power of will.
     
  3. givenuponlife

    givenuponlife Well-Known Member

    Well i see i still don't matter on this site.

    I dont even know why i bothered to come back on here and post, as the title says i am a total fu**in failure

    i am just going to leave now

    bye
     
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