Sometimes I feel like I am going to suffer extreme pain for all of eternity. That's because the pain just won't stop. I experience a lot of mental pain and also a lot of physical pain but mostly physical pain I think and I just want the pain to stop but it will not stop. What if I am some kind of biochemical machine? Does it mean I will be forced to experience extreme pain for all of eternity? I resent the fact that God made me some kind of biochemical blob who just can't die normally and will be forced to experience extreme torture for all of eternity. I just want to die and to rest in peace like every normal guy but although I want to die it just doesn't happen to me. It just feels like death doesn't want me.