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I feel like I am loosing this battle

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I feel like I am loosing this battle I dont no what to do I do no whare to turn. It just all seems like it keeps coming and coming at me and it never stops. I looked at my babies obituary today my kids dad is so not here to support me he just tares me down even more. It seems like every whare I turn things are just out of controle and I cant controle them any more, I just want to eat some more get fatter and fatter and die, I prey every night I will just go to sleep and never wake up, my kids and my family would probly be better off with out me, I am trapped in this body and I cant find my out, I am way down here at the bottum and I cant find my way out why? Why does it hurt so much all I want is my baby back then I would be happy again I would not be stuck the way I am now and my kids would be happy cause they would have there mommy back, not the sorry looser that I am, that is what I am sorry I cant even make my kids dad happy I never could that is why he treats me the way he does, because I am no good I am nothing but a fat blob is what I am. Any way sorry for rambling I will go now hopefully I can sleep tonight and have peace in the morning ha ha that is a laugh
Please be strong hun, I am here to give you some emotional support. Everyone has his/her own ways of dealing with pains,just one small step everyday hun,take care.
One small step where? You never go anywhere the pain never goes away. You just have to carry that pain day after day. The pain never goes away. People who say it does lie. It will never get better, you just learn to cope with what you all ready have, and eventually it gets even worse. For the last 6 years it's been getting worse and worse. This life is realy a disease that eventually kills us.
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