Honestly I have tried Suicide twice, I think I may want to try it again. I really feel like I have no better choice other then to grin and bear the verbal abuse I get from others or just end it all. A few months ago I was sent to a psych ward because I tried suicide, and since then everyone is distancing themselves away from me, and yet as much as I try to get back the same realationship I cannot. (I under stand if they feel betrayed). Now it's to the point where all my friends and some of my family avoid me like the plague. And now I talked with each member of my family individually about seeing to get me help they all refused or avoided the question entirely and even told me i'm not fucked up enough to go. Just like my grandmother and father say: "I am never good enough, I can't even get though school, I will never amount to anything if I even cant clean a simple dish(Which I can but they never ask.) They tell me things like i'm too fat and why can't you look like the 0 size models." I have to agree with them I am nothing but a useless dumb shit. I may have a boyfriend but he's moving to the US so we'll have to break stuff off, all my groups of friends never talk to me, call or text even when I try to talk to them. I feel like everyone is abandoning me. Hell I even got so High I gave my father a blow job for 40$ two weeks back. I really hate my life, hell it even used to be physical abuse until I got bigger and more older. Really what do I have to live for if I can't even get anything right? I'm useless all I do is take someones money, food, and space. Hell I can't even speak my mind most of the time. I also really hate myself, I mean how can people even like me. I'm selfish, I rarely talk unless it's to get drugs, I distance my self away, I'm ugly, my wrists are cut to ribbons, and I'm just way to gullible for my own good. I'm 17 and live in canada, I tried lots of things to help my problem and I'm just about at the end of my rope. I have nowhere else to go other then with my so called "family". I really really just want things to end but they keep bringing me back.