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I feel like I have nothing left for me here

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by TaraJo, Jul 14, 2009.

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  1. TaraJo

    TaraJo Banned Member

    Towards the end of May, I moved back to Oklahoma after spending the past four months in Connecticut. I thought I would have the chance to get a decent job since the job market is better and I would be able to reconnect with my family.

    Well, there have been problems. My family doesn't want to see or talk to me or have anything to do with me. My mom can barely look at me, dad doesn't care if I live or die and my grandmother is going out of her way to avoid me. I have no home so I'm having to crash on whatever friends couch I can find. I've had so much trouble putting a roof over my head that I've lost a couple of jobs. Now my friends are abandoning me because I want to get my living situation stabilized before I continue looking for work. I have children, but to see them I would need to spend money that I don't have to get a lawyer and convince a family judge that it's a good idea to send them to see someone who has no address or money and her entire family has abandoned her.

    As a result, I'm starting to feel like I have nothing left for me here in Oklahoma.

    Well, last week, I contacted an old friend who I hadn't talked to in five years. She's moved down to the Dallas area and we're getting along great now. She invited me to stay with her down in Dallas. Like I said, I don't have much of a reason to stay in Oklahoma anymore; my friends and family abandoned me, I have no job, no home and no good prospects for either. And everything here reminds me of how hurt and alone I feel. I want to be surrounded by people who care about me but I don't feel like anyone here really does anymore. I've had some people tell me "You can't run away from your problems." but, to be honest, I just need to have people who care about me around and I just don't think I have that here.

    Does this move sound like it could help any? If I go down there, should I move to stay there or should I just go for a week or so to clear my head?
  2. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    I think you could go for a week or two just to see how it goes. If you think its going to help you and improve your life then you might want to consider staying. Yeah its true you can't run away from your problems but maybe while you're away from your family they will end up coming around and start supporting you more. It might take some time for them to do this but I'm sure they will eventually. especially if you can find stability in Dallas.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think reconnecting with the old friend is exactly what you need It may be a new start for you I would try and maybe if you like it you could find a job there and when your family sees how stable you are they will reconnect. I hope you do well where ever you decide to go. take care
  4. TaraJo

    TaraJo Banned Member

    I don't know. I'll have the same problems there that I'll have here.... and I can't seem to fix these problems no matter where I live.

    I've been very depressed. I've been crying in the shower and cutting myself this morning. I honestly want to take a months worth of my anti depressants before I go to bed tonight in hopes that I'll just go to sleep and die from overdose.
  5. kurenai

    kurenai Well-Known Member

    But you haven't gone there yet, so you never know what'll happen, maybe it'll be something good. =) You have to give it a chance. If you try to overdose, you might end up with a lot of pain and vomiting instead, that's happened to me before. Antidepressants weren't really made to kill.
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Take some time think about it . Phone your friend and see what happens There is hope here a change you just have to work on it and try. The pain will decrease if you just give your doctors a chance and the medication. If these meds are working then try other ones. You deserve to be happy pleasse don't give up hope this may be the change your looking for. take care please we are here for ya.
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