I know I'm still young, (I'm 19), but looking at the world, I feel like I'll never be able to find true love. Someone who really will love me for myself. I mean, if you think about it, most of the times, we have to change something or the other about ourselves to be wanted. We always feel the need to make ourselves 'better', even if it means forcing ourselves to change, in order to gain the heart of the one we've set our eyes on. Most of the times, we feel like we're not good enough unless we make some changes on ourselves. There's nothing terribly wrong with me. I was always considered an attractive girl, and even though I tend not to believe it I can see it on myself as well. If you get to know me, I'm actually a nice person, and I've always been one. I have never insulted anyone and I'm willing to talk to anyone and not judge them before I even get to know them. I like making conversations, and even though I swing more to the shy side, I can get over it once I meet someone. I have interests, such as music, piano, threatre and singing, so it's not like I have nothing to share and talk about. I don't know what guys really want from girls these days. What kind of girls they go after. I'm in college, where you're supposed to find someone much more easily than in hell school (=high school), but it seems even worse to me. Whenever I meet a guy or take an interest in someone, they most likely will see me only as a friend. Most of the guys I've liked in the past came to me for advice and wanted to ask one of my friends out. It's like I only exist to help them get to someone else. I don't know. Every time this happens, like very recently, I begin to hate myself and wonder what's so wrong with me. I begin wondering what I should change about myself, and if I'll ever be happy in a relationship in my life. And the only guys that have shown an interest in me, is because they just wanted to 'hook up' or I wasn't attracted to them at all. Seriously, what's wrong with me? And why does it feel like love's not waiting for me after all? I don't know, but, I really want to find someone who I'm as attracted to as he is to me, and get into a serious and loving relationship, but it seems like too much of a dream at the moment.