I feel like I'm coming close to not being able to take anymore

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by awyn, Apr 25, 2013.

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  1. awyn

    awyn New Member

    The past few months have been really difficult on me, despite having a number of things going in a positive direction.
    I have a girlfriend that I love, and have been with for quite some time and she's one of the only reasons I feel I haven't just shot myself yet. For months I have been so unhappy, to the point where getting out of bed just doesn't feel worth it. Nothing seems to have a point and nothing interests me anymore... I've completely lost my sex drive, I don't even look at other people when i'm out I just stare at the ground and wonder what the point is.

    Everything just feels so vague, and I keep thinking how am I going to deal with 40 more years of feeling like this when every single day is just the same unhappyness...

    I've tried so much, nothing makes me happy no matter what I do. I've recently turned back to drugs after being clean for over 2 years, because I'm finding just going through a day becoming completely unbearable... I've recently relapsed on crystal meth and have spent close to 300$ alone in the past 2 weeks... I'm just falling away from everything and everyone, I've hated myself and everyone around me for longer than I should have to deal with...

    I don't know what else to do, and if I have to keep feeling this way much longer, I'm not going to be able to take it anymore and I'm going to kill myself...
    I don't know what else to do... Please... I just need something..
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi awyn good to see you talking here reaching out. dam eh i am sorry to hear you are back on crystal meth You need something yes you need to get professional help
    You need to get your depression under control new meds therapy new pdoc even but you need to keep trying hun for YOU and your gf and family Get into a rehab center for drug addiction get on newer meds for depression get talking ok therapy to help you Depression is treatable hun see it here alot people can well with right treatments and they get their lives back You can too ok hugs
  3. awyn

    awyn New Member

    Today has only made things worse... I've been kicked out of my house, I bought something I never thought I would even consider... I went to the pharmacy and bought a box of syringes to shoot up my tweak so maybe I can numb the pain long enough to forget...
    All I feel is anxiety, and pain, and worthlessness.

    I can't take pills, not anymore, all they've ever done for me is turn me into an emotionless zombie that can't be bothered to do anything but sleep...

    I don't know what else to do, I am trying so hard to just move forward and be happy but nothing helps no matter what I do...
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    sorry to hear that this is happening. agree with TE about trying to get into rehab. this is a tough position to be in. maybe there is something in the link in my signature that might help. I'm hoping that somehow you can get through this.
  5. Somedude11

    Somedude11 Member

    Oh man I came here to seek help...now I think I will have to give help...the irony

    Oh well, please just stop and look, look at your life, JUST LOOK. You have girlfriend, you have family, you have health, you have sex, you have food, you have water, you have money for drugs...just look at what EVERYTHING you have, many people dont EVEN have regular food or cant eat and you are whining that you are unhappy....

    If you want to deal with those depressions and such, believe me, buy complex of vitamin B, that means all vitamin Bs...they are the BEST thing against depression, even defficiency of vitamin B is dangerious to your nervous system, thats why you are unhappy and such...if that doesnt help go somewhere in a forest and shout at all your lungs until you cant shout anymore, than just go home and smile, because you have EVERYTHING you need. Just smile, really this works, just smile until your brain starts to emit the hormone of hapiness.

    Seriously look at your life, you have everything, you have future, you have what you need and more...yet you are unhappy? Why why are you unhappy? Because you dont know what to do?? Then think and do something, do something that fufills you, change job, do a job that will make you happy. You even have the luxury of a girlfriend, someone who you can rely on, many people walk the problems of life alone....talk to her, tell her your feelings and what to do. Drugs are NO way out, they are just sometimes to let yourself go, to let the steam off, but to rely on them for way out...not thats just plain stupid.

    If you have life crisis, then just go out, start something new, change your image or what not, try to be truthfull to yourself. Do what you always wanted to do, because you CAN, not many people have the luxury of freedom, not everyone has so many opportunities that you have. You have 2 legs, 2 arms,brain, you are healthy...what else do you need??? And dont start with the crap like, there are no jobs etc....there are TONS of jobs, just dont be lazy, not everyone can be artist major or non work make millions major you know....there are tons of labour shortages, even with all the so called crisis, so go out there, make a change.
  6. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    what about trying other meds or seeing what your specialist or gp comes up with?
  7. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    often people have disabilities that can not be seen. getting better may seem easy to others, but the reality is often more complex. still, one can improve, though that improvement often defies easy answers. I imagine recovering from a crystal meth addiction is pretty difficult
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