The past few months have been really difficult on me, despite having a number of things going in a positive direction. I have a girlfriend that I love, and have been with for quite some time and she's one of the only reasons I feel I haven't just shot myself yet. For months I have been so unhappy, to the point where getting out of bed just doesn't feel worth it. Nothing seems to have a point and nothing interests me anymore... I've completely lost my sex drive, I don't even look at other people when i'm out I just stare at the ground and wonder what the point is. Everything just feels so vague, and I keep thinking how am I going to deal with 40 more years of feeling like this when every single day is just the same unhappyness... I've tried so much, nothing makes me happy no matter what I do. I've recently turned back to drugs after being clean for over 2 years, because I'm finding just going through a day becoming completely unbearable... I've recently relapsed on crystal meth and have spent close to 300$ alone in the past 2 weeks... I'm just falling away from everything and everyone, I've hated myself and everyone around me for longer than I should have to deal with... I don't know what else to do, and if I have to keep feeling this way much longer, I'm not going to be able to take it anymore and I'm going to kill myself... I don't know what else to do... Please... I just need something..