I feel like I'm finished

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by TaraJo, Jul 16, 2009.

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  1. TaraJo

    TaraJo Banned Member

    Or I should be.

    I have nothing. No stable place to stay. No good friends. No job. Nothing.

    I've been in this situation for five years, jumping from one temporary situation to another and I can't get my life together.

    I'm tired of struggling and getting nowhere. I'm tired of unfulfilled promises. I'm tired of having to put so much effort to get so little out of it. I'm just.... tired.

    I was crying and cutting myself yesterday morning. Only one thing brought me out of it: I can end it all. I started day dreaming about taking a bottle of sleeping pills before bed one night and, suddenly, I started feeling better. Like my problems didn't matter anymore because no matter how screwed up my life is, it will all be over soon.

    As of now, it's only a matter of when. That's the only thing I haven't decided yet. Probably soon. Before August, at very least. Likely this weekend or sooner. I don't know. I just want peace and can't seem to find it in life.
  2. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    the fact you felt better after deciding you were just going to end it all means the only reason you want to end it all is because you have these problems.But they are solvable.And IF your problems were solved..you would feel this same sense of peace.But then you would deserve it,now you do not.Your life is precious..you have to keep trying.There are so many people struggling it is unbelievable.You are not alone.There are ways to get help.Therapy,medication,hospitalization and agencies for the homeless and unemployed.The problem is a lot of people are so depressed they do not have the energy or the faith to seek out this help.Please keep trying.One step at a time,one task at a time.You know I sometimes feel like I wish I would take my own advice.I think I will.Keep us posted.:console:
  3. TaraJo

    TaraJo Banned Member

    It's decided. Tomorrow night. I have it all planned out. I get a decent hotel room, I order a pizza for my last meal, make a quick phone call to say good bye to a few people, I take a bottle of sleeping pills and..... it's over.

    There's such a sense of peace that comes with making that decision. I don't have to worry about the rest of that stuff anymore. I don't have to worry about the fact that I'm broke, I have no real friends or that my family has abandoned me. None of those matter anymore.

    I probably have less than 24 hours left. Good bye.
  4. Young suicider

    Young suicider Well-Known Member

    Theres no reason to end it,who am I kidding I'm hanna shut up before I start breaking rules that cost lives.
  5. suzy

    suzy Well-Known Member

    i wish i had more of a chance to read more of your previous posts before i write this reply

    i know that it would help to understand you better and give you support cause no matter what from what little i got to read over time

    you sound like an interesting person in a situation that needs support

    as for what will happen in the next 24 hours.... it could be i wish more than that to happen for you... others have said there is hope .... for you i do think its true

    sorry i cant write more just.... this ... others now believe there is hope and maybe you will soon also believe in a future and that hope
  6. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    what you really want and need is someone who cares.You do not really want to die.Please keep posting here.You do know you can go to a hospital and tell them exactly what you have posted here.You need to be hospitalized,hon.You're in pain.They can and will help you...you will be around others who are in pain like you and have doors opened for you.Consider this.I wish I could teleport to people like you and drag you to a hospital if a hug wasn't sufficient.
  7. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    i have to teleport to you to i see.lol.Hugs and my advice for tarajo goes for you too.Anyone who feels they really are at the end..know this..suicide is murder of oneself and it is a human need to help others to get passed that risk.No one wants to really die they just need help.Comfort.Post here until you sleep and tomorrow is a new day and you should seriously consider going to a therapist or a hospital.
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