I've been depressed quite a bit lately. Usually, I can eat just fine, but when I'm depressed, I look at myself in the mirror and can't see anything but the fat and the idea of eating anything is so foreign to me, regardless of how hungry I am. It's not just weight loss; part of it is a control issue and part of it, yeah, is because this is a form of self harm (and it's one that isn't immediately obvious to everyone around me). Usually, when I'm not depressed, I eat just fine (even if my choices in foods could stand to be healthier). However, I do worry some; could I be starting to get an eating disorder? I know it's not full-blown anorexia, but part of me wonders if this could be the first step towards that road and, maybe, I need to find a way to "nip this in the bud." But, still, the idea of eating right now makes me sick, even though I haven't eaten anything in nearly 24 hours.