I feel like im losing my sanity

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by GS9, Apr 24, 2008.

  1. GS9

    GS9 The Lost Boy

    I've been on and off depression for about 5-6 years and never would have thought i would make it to the age i am today

    I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety
    I was also diagnosed with Sever Depression and Sever Anxiety when i was discharged due to failure to adapt

    I feel as if im losing touch of reality and that i find myself questioning every thing

    Im very paranoid and i find myself talking to myself
    I feel very lone since i pull myself away from everyone

    I feel like crying in the inside
    I feel like if i continue to live ill only grow up old and alone

    Not a day goes by that i question as to way im still alive and why i am alone

    Every now and then i have flash backs to when my friend almost drown'd me
    and the abuse my father put me threw..

    Im trying to move forward and forget my past without help, because i hate talking about myself and my life

    I just dont know what to do and how to do it... I feel like im losing my mind
     
  2. blue shoes

    blue shoes Well-Known Member

    I am sorry for your situation. :sad:
    From my experience, pushing away people only makes things worse, even if you feel like you would be happier if you'd be left alone, in the long term it just makes you miserable. At least that's how I experienced.
    Maybe you should consider getting help, you seem to be in a very bad state, and 5-6 years is a long time, maybe you can't get out of it alone.
    I am sorry I wasn't much of a help, but I wanted to reply.
    :hug:
     
  3. GS9

    GS9 The Lost Boy

    I had my mom put me in jail and then leave me in a shelter,
    She fucked me outta my car, she waited till i was sleeping and she took my keys

    I'm near having a nervous break drown and going off on someone hence my mom cause she's really freaking testing me

    I wish my mom was to die in a car wreck, all she has been doing since i have been back from the army was lie, steal and shit

    I gave her 300$ of my money and she's treating me like shit..

    I dont know what to do but if something doesnt change i think i might have to make it change if you know what i mean

    Also i think she stole my insurance pay out and once i find out im suing her ass
     
  4. GS9

    GS9 The Lost Boy

    I'm about to be homeless soon and my mind is filled with anger and hatred towards my life,

    Im one only one that had to deal with the most stress outta of both my sisters

    My sisters fucked up on there own behave i get fucked over with out having a choice

    My sisters never had to worry about anything, car insurance or nothing cause my parents were still together

    Im getting the rough end of the stick being the youngest and most neglected out of all of them and i feel like i just cant take it any more
     
  5. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Chad :hug:

    Sorry about all this :sad:
    I didn't know you'd been in the army! :eek:hmy: :hug: You've been away from SF for a while, haven't you? I remember you from like a year ago, in chat, it was funny with you there :yes: Did you attend the army when you were away? Or have you not been away at all, and am I just being a goofer and all that ? :rolleyes:

    Anyway I'm sorry I don't have many words of advice :sad:
    I really do hope things will work out in the end :arms: