I feel like its myy own fault

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by angelofglass, Jun 25, 2009.

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  1. angelofglass

    angelofglass Member

    Well, I am normally a person who dresses modestly but my friend invited me to go with her to a party(first party ever) and well...I decided to dress a lil um provocatively and there was this guy I met there and he seemed nice and he asked if I wanted to go somewhere more quiet because the noise was giving me a headache so we went up into this room on the secind floor of the house and thats when it happened...rape...I said no though.I dont know what to do I fel like its my own fault for dressing the way I did and for going into the room with him alone.
  2. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    It's common for rape victims to feel it was their fault, that they should've been able to stop it. Well, however you look at it... forcing sex on someone who is telling you 'no' is wrong. It is NOT your fault hun. :hug: He knew what he was doing... I'm really sorry it happened to you. Have you told anyone? Maybe a close friend or relative.
  3. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm so very sorry this happened to you! It is absolutely positively not your fault! It's a myth that perpetrators tell women, in order to validate their abuse, that it's the victim's fault because of how she dressed, or what she did, or what she said, or whatever. It is never the victim's fault, no matter what! And it certainly isn't yours! I really suggest you talk to someone, and get some therapy, and perhaps turn this asshole in somewhere, if you can handle doing so. At the very minimum, please get some help from therapy or some support. Again, I am so sorry this has happened to you. You're not alone. :hug:
  4. angelofglass

    angelofglass Member

    Thanks both of you and it happened a couple of nights ago.I have not told anyone that I know about it.I have a psychologist but I havent talked to her about it yet cause she doesnt have an appointment opening till next month.I ...think That I will report it though and that I will get a rape kit Test done so that we will have eidence against the guy...cuz um...he didnt use a condom. I HOPE I DONT GET PREGNANT :(
  5. WishICould

    WishICould Well-Known Member

    Well it certainly is NOT your fault angel. You MUST go see a doctor ASAP.
    Pregnancy should be only one of the issues you must be concerned about - I am sure your GP will advise better.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm so sorry this happened to you.It was NOT your fault. He should be reported to the authorities and you need to be checked out by a doctor.
    PM me anytime if you need to talk. :hug:

    p.s. welcome to SF.
  7. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    It was NOT your fault. You told him no and he still chose to cross the line. You mustn't think that it was your fault.
  8. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I have heard many men say things like "well, look how she's dressed, she must be asking for it". BULLSHIT!

    It's not your fault! Please go to the authorities and report this guy so that he doesn't continue to do it.

    Please contact your psychologist again and tell her it's an emergency and see if you can get an appointment. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
  9. whiskeylullaby

    whiskeylullaby Well-Known Member

    i am so sorry you are going through this. i can empathize with you though - something very similar happened to me three years ago, and i promise i understand what you are going through i'm always available to talk if you want, pm, yahoo or whatever :) take care honey
  10. serivok

    serivok Active Member

    his actions were his own, its not your fault.
  11. angelofglass

    angelofglass Member

    Thank you to everyone who has commented also today I reported him and went to the doctor and had a preg test and it said that im not preg and also the guy was put in jail till his courtdate cause he came to my house when i was alone last night but i called the police and luckily there was one right nearby and he arrested him for breaking and entering and attempted rape cause he already had me partially naked by the time the cop got there but yea he is in jail and there is a courtdate but i know he is going to stay in jail for awhile because they caught him in the act bassically!
  12. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    I hope he gets what he deserves while he's locked up.
  13. angelofglass

    angelofglass Member

  14. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    That's good. Hope he gets what he deserves.
  15. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Glad to hear you're not pregnant, that must be a relief. :hug: I hope they keep him there for a long long time.
  16. angelofglass

    angelofglass Member

    Thanks mel and everyone
  17. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    You said no. Not at all your fault.
  18. Songie

    Songie Well-Known Member

    Aww sweetie...no matter what anyone may tell you, it is NEVER your fault!! EVER! No matter how you dressed, or where you went with him...he was the sick pervert that did that to you...it wasn't your fault. *hugs*
  19. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Never your fault don't let anyone tell you eitherwise I am so happy he is locked up and i hope he stays there I hope you are getting the help you need too.
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