I'm a bit of a clusterfuck here, so bear with me. I'm no stranger to feeling suicidal, I've had depression since I was seven, and I've had multiple suicide attempts. I generally recognize that the feeling will pass, but I've been on a several day bender here, and I feel so alone. I've spent the past 5 years playing guitar day in and day out, and I'm sort of terrified of people. I'm terrified of being rejected and I really just want to be loved, so as a result, I don't have many friends. I'm not sure what to do, I feel very much like the world is just so fake, like if you looked out of the corner of your eyes you'd see a television knob. I've been on medications and I've been in therapy for ages, and I just can't bring myself to care anymore.