I feel like <mod edit - methods>

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Brookeashleybam, Aug 2, 2016.

  1. Brookeashleybam

    Brookeashleybam New Member

    I'm brooke, I have impulse control disorder. I am in a relationship and I don't know if staying is the right answer. See I have no family. I have three kids, my mom called child services and had them taken from me cause my mom hates me she told me she wish shed had an abortion..well long story short I'm living with my boyfriend who says he is in love with me but calls me names and laughs at me all the time. Anyways he says he's in love with me but his uncle and aunt and cousin came to visit in Disney land, he went and left me home.. By myself with no food no money nothing. He loves me right? I begged him not to leave me alone. I begged him to take me too, I wanted to meet his family they didn't want to meet me cause they don't like me cause every chance my bf had he told his uncle bad things about me .. Like about my kids not being with me and about how my baby daddy raped me that's why I have three..because I was raped. I hate myself o just want to die. I was not going to sit in that house alone with nothing after the way he treated me , I do love him but my impulses were telling me I need to leave and that I absolutely hate myself. I tried to kill myself. I called suicide hotline and no one would talk back, I kept saying hello and no one was there.. Now I'm stuck in Tennessee I wanna go back to Florida I have nothing or no one here I'm stealing WiFi from a library I don't remember getting here cause I was so emotional I just remember I never met the lady but she was my biological little sisters mom. I wanna go home. I haven't eaten since last monday all I drink is water and I am also a juvinelle type 1 diabetic I hate my life I don't know what to do
     
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. You have hit a all time low. I know it's hard especially when you have mother telling you awful things.

    I understand things are tough, no money , no one caring and everything has come to ahead. You went through a traumatic experience with your ex. That still causes you pain and turmoil. The important thing that everyone is judging you and no one is giving the support you richly deserve at this tough period of your life.

    We can help but you need to see emergency medical advice as soon as possible. Your mother is not being every supportive and turning against you is the last thing you want in your life. I know it's hard but do not hard on yourself.

    Have seemed therapy or medication for the traumatic experience?

    The situation might not improve but you deep down you need to leave and if your boyfriend cared about you he would tell you rather than cause you emotional hurt.

    Please keep posting as your important to us and we can help you. Please think someone in the world does care about YOU. You are no longer hurting alone in the world but we can help YOU to survive.

    Take care as you are important to us.
     
    bobbob likes this.
  3. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    Hi, I am Mox

    How did you get from Florida to Tennessee? Do you have family you can go too for help in the area?

    How are you managing your diabetes by not eating anything? If you are not feeling well my want too check into an ER and get the help you need.

    I personally feel like you should dump the boyfriend and find someone new. Your very attractive. Someone that will not call you names or leave you at home while he is out with his family. That kind of says to me that these other people are more important than you. Plus he left you with no food and no money. Plus he will just treat you worse over time. If treats you this bad with his family juts think how bad he will treat when you are alone.

    Take Care of Yourself, don't be afraid to reach out for help, we are here to help you
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, I have diabetes too , how are you checking your sugar levels and taking your medications for it? You will find yourself in a dangerous spot if it is not looked after. I am so sorry you have been through so much. Please look after number 1 = yourself and be kind to yourself. I hope things improve soon for you, if not keep talking to us here hun1
     
    moxman and bobbob like this.
  5. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Sorry you feel horrible right now with your decisions. You are not stuck where like you think you are. How did you get to the library? Just leave and look for shelters and hot meals there. Good luck Brooke