I feel like my life is insanity!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Izzy559, Feb 15, 2012.

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  1. Izzy559

    Izzy559 Member

    Lately I been feeling very down, I just feel kind of hopeless cause I don't see a light in my life, I got great parents, a decent house hold, but it's me, I FEEL just lonely, I created terrible habits that stop me from achieving, I hate myself for that...I had opportunities, I have had good things going for me but I always screw it up....my parents have got to the point where they given up on me, I really screwed up myself...I can't past my GED test, I got none to hang out or talk with, I just feel...like...I'm not the son my parents deserve... They are such great parents, did everything they can for me, I just feel like a disappointment, iv failed on every aspect....I always made my mom cry, or always disappointed them, I just really messed myself up....I don't do nothing, I ain't got a diploma, a job, or anything...I just feel like I'm drifting by and I'm sick of it, no matter how hard I try I'm a slacker in every aspect, I got to say this, their is no reason for me to be alive, at all, I live with so much regret, and pain, I just can't rid it. I feel if I were to die, I can FINALLY be at rest, all my regrets and utter failures, finally, I would be at peace, and i won't have to cry myself to sleep anymore....
     
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Hi there,

    When I was in high school fifteen years ago, three students committed suicide in four years. It was a nightmare! I went to a tiny school & none of us peers really knew what to make of it. We were all just so thoroughly confused and hurt by the situation. In any case, over the years looking back on it, I've often wondered whether or not they'd have made the same decision at age 20, 25, 30... In other words, had they to do it over again, upon reflection, would they still do the same thing? My answer (or guess) was always fairly resounding, in that "No!" they would not have done it had they been given a chance to live life a little bit and experience how things can evolve and change completely from high school as you grow up. I apologize, if this does little to help you out in your particular case, but I just thought that maybe you would appreciate some different insight from another perspective, so thank you for listening!

    Best In All You Do
     
  3. Izzy559

    Izzy559 Member

    Well I feel like just starting over, fresh start, the only reason I'm alive is cause my mom and dog, I can't bare to just leave them like that... If my family weren't here I wouldn't be alive cause that's what stops me from pulling the plug. Although, if I had a choice where I can just disappear, to where I never even existed, I would take that choice with out a doubt, my family wouldn't mourn, and I can be at peace....I'll tell you though I feel like I did more negative then positive. but I been fighting these thoughts since 7th grade, I been fighting and fighting, now I'm just exhausted, I did just to much damage I can't fix my parents have no idea I been having suicidal thoughts, if I were to do it, I would use <mod edit- methods>, and write Letter to each of them, I'm telling you guys I have had this planned but I kept fighting it, now I just feel hopeless, i don't know what happens in death, but from what I heard it feels beautiful, I don't believe in a heaven or hell, so I know i would finally be happy, maybe I can restart a new life, who knows
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 27, 2014
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