I feel like nothings ever going to get better

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Fvantom, May 2, 2012.

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  1. Fvantom

    Fvantom Active Member

    pretty much every day, night, and weekend, I sit at home, alone, because nobody really cares to talk to me or want to do anything. Sure I have some friends, but I have to jump through hoops to hang out with them, I have to be the first one to talk to them, theyre busy hanging out with their "real" friends for most of the week so they have to find a time when they can deal with me. These are people I wish I were good friends with, but they just dont seem to care. The problem is theyre really all I have, I have one really close online friend but he doesnt live anywhere near me.

    I never really ever feel like my friends are excited or happy to see me, Im just sort of "that guy" to everyone, but its not like this one group of people, everyone is like this to me, my self esteem is in the shits because of this. Ive been depressed for about 5-6 years, everyone keeps telling me that it gets better, but it never has. I want to have hope, I want to love life, but I cant. My will to keep live these days is very weak and falling fast.
     
  2. Blackbird33

    Blackbird33 Well-Known Member

    Your feelings sound very similar to mine the few friends I do have; I'm an afterthought. I don't have anyone in my life who I'm close with just more of people that every blue moon we might hang out. I can't say that I really blame them.
     
  3. blue

    blue Active Member

    I feel the same way most of the time. I honestly don't know what to say to help, just hang in there. I know it's tough when you never seem to see any improvement. Having low self esteem could affect how people treat you, do you think this could be the case? Do let me know if you ever need someone to talk to, I would like to help if I can.
     
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Honestly I feel the same way that you do...sorry that you feel this way. You need better friends, ones who really care about you, because you deserve it.
     
  5. Fvantom

    Fvantom Active Member

    thats the problem though, Ive been looking for better friends for years, but everyone I meet is exactly the same as the last, and its not so black and white to say that these people are all complete assholes, theyre all actually pretty nice people, which kills my self esteem that much more, because its like theyre telling me that Im not good enough, without actually saying it of course.
     
  6. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    It becomes very hard to resocialise after being alone for a long time as i m finding this myself.My moods go up and down and prob afects people around me so ive been going to a support group just so i can learn how to socialise again and if need i can talk about my emotions as when going out with friends most dont want to hear about the darkness that surrounds you and thats where i find topics with them hard as i have nothing else to talk about after sitting at home alone.If you have something like that is a good place to go and you can end up meeting new people too just an idea
     
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