It's almost the tenth anniversary of my dad's suicide and recently I've come down with some undiagnosed illness that no doctor can help with. I'm constantly in pain and almost always confined to my bedroom. I live with my aunt and ever since this started early march all she's been doing is complaining about how the house is a mess because I can't clean anything. My brother was off partying until a week ago because his twenty-first birthday and getting laid was more important that helping his only sister. That, i suppose, i can understand. But then he came home and started whining and screaming because his birthday wasn't good enough for him. My entire family thew him an surprise party. No one had ever done that for me. To make it worse, all of my family smoke and i have an allergy to cigarettes so i spent the entire party outside. Alone. Every time i begin to feel the slightest bit better something comes along and reminds me that nothing is improving in my life. No matter how many times i try to talk to family members they seem to focus on themselves instead. I don't want to be selfish but this is the worst time of the year for me and for some reason everyone is trying to make it harder on me, intentionally or not. Even mother nature has it out for me. I can't help but feel like everyone had abandoned me and it hurts to imagine what my next few months will be like with constant visits to the hospital and almost non-stop fights with my family. I just want to run away.