I feel like screaming

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by resistance, Apr 6, 2009.

  1. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    It's all I hear about these days and I'm totally fucking sick of it. My dad is so madly in love with a girl who is out for everything she and her family can get. He has been totally sucked into her charm and he doesn't realise it. Anytime I try to mention it he says I've got it wrong or whatever. Yeah, I'm not the one blinded by love! They lent money off us a few months ago which they've promised to pay back, but haven't. My dad bought her a mobile phone and put it in his name and she promised to pay him the bills, but she hasn't. She phones her home country and the bills are fucking insane. etc etc...

    Bit of a background. She's from another country. Speaks very little English. More than half his age - not that I normally have a problem with age differences.

    One day they had to collect her from the airport, asked me to go with them because I can talk English and can help if they encounter any problems with English along the way. I was ok with that. On the night we went to collect her, 10 minutes before leaving, they ask to borrow my satnav because theirs wasn't working. They asked to borrow petrol money. They told me he doesn't have a full UK drivers licence and if they were pulled over or had any trouble along the way to use my licence. To say I was mighty pissed off is the understatement of the century. How DARE they want ME to risk my fucking drivers licence!! I tried to drill it into their heads and say NO I wasn't doing it. If they get pulled over, it's on their head, not mine. I'm not risking points on my licence or it being taken away, getting a fine, imprisoned for anybody.

    My dads girlfriend needs to go back to her home country in 2 weeks or so for a court case involving custody of her little girl - broke up with father etc... apparently she was told if she doesn't go back then she will get 2 years in jail. She didn't have airfair. So my dad paid for her ticket.

    She keeps pestering my dad about marriage, and my dad was against it but he is scared that he'll lose her so he has agreed to marry her. One day I was sent out of the room and he told me to close the door. I went into the other room but could still hear a bit of the conversation and heard him tell her he has ... thousand ready for when they marry and settle down. WHAT THE FUCK!?? I didn't catch the amount, but heck, we SERIOUSLY cannot afford this. He must have got a loan or something because none of us have that in our accounts. We have bills to pay, and it feels like we're always playing catch up with them so why is he doing this??? I feel upset, worried and pretty pissed off.

    He is so madly in love with her he only ever talks about her nowadays. If it gets to the point where they do break up it will make him fall to pieces. It has got to the point where I feel myself cringing hearing her name. I'm scared he's going to be legally stuck in a situation he cannot get himself out of. He won't listen to anything. I feel so useless it feels like I have no alternative but to stand back and watch this happen. I don't know what to do.
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Sorry that this is happening to you.

    I have no sound words of advice for this, but you're in my thoughts if it makes any difference.

  3. helena

    helena Staff Alumni

    ....I guess it's like, when parents don't aprove their child's partner choice....you can say what you want, with teens the more you advice and warn them about the person, the closer they get. I should hope adults, a paren in this case, would be more racional and objective to at least pounder things well, and maybe start thinking you might be right; also, the fear to be alone makes people sometimes decide that some use, or abuse is worth...

    See, not much of advice in here from me :( I guess analysing the situation is not exactly what you were looking for, but I don't know, I don't think there's a lot you could do that you haven't done yet...
    Lot's of luck,
    take care
  4. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Thanks guys, I don't think there's much I can do either except hope that he sees her true colours before they get married. :hug:
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    It is so hard to be put in the middle of a situation like this. You can see what is going on from the outside, but he refuses to see. Remind him of his last choice and how it turned out. If he rushes into things again, he may not get out of it as easy as he did last time and that was a struggle in itself. On the other hand, he is a full grown man and has to be allowed to make his own mistakes and the aftermath. I hope he comes to his senses soon res. :hug: