Lately so many things have been triggering me. I can't hear a song or watch TV without something making me think about my kids and all the things in my life that I've lost. I get so down on a daily basis that I've been doing harmful things to myself. Due to personal, legal and financial reasons I have to live with me folks and I don't think I'll make it much longer. They plan on taking a trip next month and will be gone for 3-4 weeks minimum. I just have this feeling that if I'm still around then that will be the time for my final serious attempt. I don't know...I feel like such a whiner, this is so hard to post because I never, have never talked to anyone about anything like this before. I'm not looking for sympathy or advise, I'm just needing to vent since I have no one to talk to.